Broken
by lycanus1
Summary: What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or will he find solace in the arms of another ? * SLASH - Don't like ? Then avoid like the plague ! *
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Broken  
**Character(s):** Paul; Jacob  
**Rating:** M  
**Type: **hurt/comfort; angst; slash  
**Summary: **What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or will he find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Comments & Reviews:** positive comments welcomed  
**Disclaimer:** All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N:** The Demon Spawn never happened. Ever. I'm in complete denial ... In my AU she doesn't exist.

**Warning: **_contains slash and strong language._

*************

**_Broken_**

_Paul's pov:_

I never thought she'd leave me. Just walk out like that. That she didn't love me. _Never _loved me. That it would hurt so fucking badly ...  
I feel like I'm being flayed alive. Like I'm being torn apart and my heart ripped into tiny pieces. My chest feels like its being crushed in a fucking vice and I can't breathe.

Rachel Black was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Tall, willowy and graceful with long, raven hair and limpid, soft, dark eyes that were full of wisdom and intelligence. And despite the fact that she was my imprint, I fell for her. I loved her with all of my being. _She_ became my life. Gave me a reason for living and was as vital to me as the air I breathed. But her rejection was devastating and it's slowly, but surely killing me.  
It's been less than a month since she's knocked me back and to make sure that I realized that she meant business, she caught the first available flight to New York .

Her family are secretly relieved that she's kicked me into touch. Yet Billy, somehow had the grace to feel bad for me even though he was far from happy when he found out I'd imprinted on his beloved daughter. Rebecca, her sister, couldn't care either way. She'd left home and lived by the philosophy of the imprint being "out of sight and out of (her) mind."  
Jacob though, hadn't taken the news of my imprint on his sister well. He'd been furious and made no bones about hiding his anger and disgust towards me. Although we were pack brothers, we'd never got on, being polar opposites. _He _hated me with a passion and because of his fiery temper - which was as bad as mine - I could never resist taunting him. Thankfully, life was never boring with him around as he _never_ failed to rise to the bait, providing me with hours of endless amusement.  
But since Rachel's cut me out of her life, there's no pleasure or joy left in mine. Even my favourite pastime of tormenting her baby brother no longer appeals to me. Nothing matters any more. Life doesn't matter and _I _certainly don't matter. The way I feel right now is ... Fuck ! There's just no point carrying on without her. I don't _want_ to carry on anymore. I've no purpose and my life's just fucking meaningless if I can't share it with her. It's just ... just so fucking pointless ...

I _know_ I'm in a bad way. I can't deny it. I look and feel like crap.  
I haven't phased in almost a month. God only knows when I last ate. My weight has plummeted and the last time I saw myself in the mirror I looked like skin and bone. I'm well on the way to looking like someone from a prisoner of war camp. In a vain attempt to try to forget what I've lost, alcohol's become my new best friend. I know I should do something about it, but in all honesty, I just don't give a damn ... I _don't_ care anymore. Why the hell should I ? It's not as if anyone else cares about me or gives a shit if I live or die. So, why should I give a shit ?  
The pain I feel is relentless. It gnaws at me constantly. It burns fiercely and is all-consuming. My heart aches desperately and the loss of my beautiful imprint is driving me insane. Killing me slowly ... Murdering me from the inside ...

*********

Jack Daniels on an empty stumoch is not a good thing. Trust me ... _I_ know.  
At first, I drank to forget. To numb this constant pain I feel. It did sort of help in the beginning. Provided me with some kinda respite. Then something would happen. Something that would remind me of _her._ A faint trace of her perfume in the air. Or a passing glance at another girl who'd slightly reminded me of her. Or hearing her favourite music being played on the radio. All of those things would suddenly strike me like a hard, violent blow, reminding me of the woman I loved. Whom I'd lost. How I'd been rejected ... Then I'd find myself spiralling out of control into the depths of agonizing darkness and despair. And my fractured heart would start breaking all over again.

So now, I brought other friends into the mix, to keep me and Jack company. I started taking painkillers and tranquilizers. Stupid, I know ... But anything's worth a try, isn't it ? And I'm so fucked up now, I'll try almost anything to get by. Hell ! Even numbness is better than all of this pain. It _has_ to be. Day by day, piece by piece, I'm fading away. Losing the will to live. Slowly dying. All because of my shattered heart and this stupid fucking imprint.

I used to be strong, y'know ... ? Physically, mentally and emotionally. But now ... ? I'm just a shell. An empty, worthless husk. I was the pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker. Always unable to keep my goddamn mouth shut and forever getting dragged into, or more often than not, starting brawls. I just couldn't help myself. Couldn't resist getting into trouble. I was a loudmouth. Sarcastic. Cocky. Insensitive and arrogant. Forever winding the other pack members up, especially our fiesty, tempestuous she-wolf, Leah and Jacob, with his short fuse and explosive temper which matched mine perfectly.  
Imprinting calmed me down a lot. Made me _slightly_ more considerate of other people's feelings and distracted me from trouble. I was happier. Quieter. Kinder. Less impatient. More tolerant.

But everything changed once Rachel left. I became silent. Moody. Withdrawn. I kept to myself. And like a wounded animal hid, so that I could lick the gaping, bloody wound left where my heart used to be. All of the boundless energy I possessed simply vanished, leaving me weak and lethargic. I lost interest in everything. Everyone. Especially myself. Any hope I had that she would return to me has long gone. I've had to accept it and try to deal with it.  
But accepting something and dealing with it are two separate things entirely. It's easier said than done. I'm not fucking dealing with it. I'm not up to it. My fighting spirit's abandoned me. My lust for life has deserted me. Leaving me weak and vulnerable. And I hate it. Absolutely hate it ...

So that's why I'm now holed up in my bathroom, my emaciated, half-naked body sprawled on the cold white-tiled floor. I'm not alone, my constant companions - Jack D., a box of temazepam and an old cut-throat razor - are by my side. There's about an inch left of the fiery amber liquid sloshing about the bottom of the large bottle and only half a strip of sleeping tablets left.

For some warped reason, the sight of the lethal razor blade freshly stained with crimson greatly amuses me and brings a twisted smile to my lips. The smell of freshly spilled blood - mine - hangs heavily in the air, yet it doesn't bother me. I'm too far gone and past caring by now. The sight of the myriad of lines, deep, free-flowing and a rich scarlet, criss-crossing my abdomen and thighs fascinate and mesmerize me. And with the combined efforts of my loyal comrades, my wounds_ aren't_ healing as quickly. I may be completely rat-arsed, but I knew damn well what I was doing when I took those pills with neat liquour. I was aware that they'd affect my body's healing abilities and that's exactly why I did it. This fucking imprint's finally done it - it's got me whipped. Beaten me ... I'm just so sick and tired of it all. All this shit ...

Like I said, I'm so tired. I can barely keep my eyes open. Everything looks dark and blurry and I ache all over. My body feels heavy. Sluggish. Yet my head's spinning. It's like I'm drowning. Being pulled under a powerful, fast moving current and dragged into merciful darkness. My breath suddenly hitches and I fall into oblivion's shadowy embrace ...

**_T.B.C._**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Broken  
**Author: **Lycanus  
**Fandom: **Twilight  
**Character(s):** Paul; Jacob  
**Rating:** M  
**Type: **hurt/comfort; angst, slash  
**Summary: **What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or will he find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Comments & Reviews:** positive comments welcomed  
**Disclaimer:** All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...

**Warning: **_contains slash and strong language._

*************

**  
Broken**

_Jacob's pov:_

_PRESENT_

Shit ... Shit ... Shit ... Shit ! Why me ? What the hell did I ever do to piss God or Sam off so bad that I've been ordered to do this ? Man ! This totally sucks ...

**_*****_**

_FLASHBACK_

_"_ Hell ! No, Sam. No freaking way ... Can't you get someone else to go ? " I protested, my face twisting in a grimace of distaste.

" Look, Jacob. " Sam sighed. " I can't spare anyone. Leah's at college, Embry and Quil are patrolling the boundary line and Jared and I have to cover the area around Forks. That just leaves you and Seth. I'm sorry, you'll just have to do it. "

" Bu- " I ran a frustrated hand through my dark, cropped hair, ruffling it into messy, spiky peaks.

" I mean it, Jacob. _You'll_ have to deal with it. You're both going to check up on Paul ... End of ! " Sam's voice had taken on its Alpha tone and the glare he gave me made me flinch. He meant business and there was no way I could refuse to obey a direct order from an Alpha.

" Fine ! " I growled, rolling over submissively like a small cub. I was far from happy. If anything, I was furious but there was nothing I could do about the situation. Sam had me over a barrell and he knew it. I had to comply with his wishes or I would be in serious trouble. " Don't blame me if that asswipe ends up getting chewed out, 's al- "

" Jacob ! " Sam snarled, his dark eyes narrowed ominously. " _If_ I hear you two have been brawling again, there'll be hell to pay. That's no threat - it's a promise ... D'ya hear me ? "

I gave a grunt which conveyed my displeasure and slunk away with my tail between my legs so to speak, in search of Seth. If I had to descend into the devil's pit, then I sure as hell wasn't going alone ...

**_*****_**

_PRESENT_

Crap ! Why the hell does Sam have to be so goddamn awkward about this ? He knows Paul and I can't stand the sight of each other. That we can barely tolerate and share the same air for more than five minutes. That we always end up at each other's fucking throats. We can't help it. It's like a compulsion ... We're addicted to fighting each other.

So that's why Seth and I are now standing outside _his_ front door. Seth's curious as he's never been inside the Meraz' house and being such a sweet-natured person with a good heart, has been genuinely concerned by Paul's absence over the past few weeks.

Me ? Hell ! Frankly, I couldn't care less where he's been. If anything, things have been so much better without him around. So much easier. And if I'm being honest, I'm glad he's been m.i.a. I haven't missed him at all. Rachel did us all a massive favour when she rejected him, as I hated the way he fawned over her and kept groping her with his filthy paws. Nah, life's been great without him ...  
I just don't understand why Sam can't see that ... Why the hell our Alpha's so worried about him and wants us to check up on the dumb jerk. You'd have thought he'd have been glad of the peace, but oh, no ... Sam _had_ to know if the wise-ass was ok ...  
After a couple of minutes of frantic knocking, I finally gave up.

" Seth ... I'm off. It's obvious there's no one here. We did what Sam asked and there's no point hanging around an empty house, so we may as well go- "

" No ! " Seth replied quietly, a stubborn expression on his normally good-natured face. " Sam told us to go check on Paul and that's what we're gonna to do- "

" Seth, trust me, there's no poi- "

Seth huffed. " Listen, Jake. Paul's here ... I know he is. I can feel him. Smell him. His scent's really fresh. We're going nowhere 'til we've seen him. I don't want Sam to chew me out if he finds out that Paul was here all along and we didn't bother or care enough to see if he's ok. I'd rather piss you off than have a furious Alpha on my back. " He reached past me and tested the door handle. To our concern, the door quietly swung open.

" Hell ! That can't be right ... " I muttered. Whatever Paul was, and my feelings about him, he never left his home unlocked if he wasn't around. I warily entered the house, closely followed by Seth.

" See ? Told you something was wrong. " Seth looked defiant, yet his eyes were ablaze with curiosity. " Uh ... maybe we should have a look around ? You know ? Check that everything's ok. That Paul's ok ... "

I slowly shook my head and rolled my eyes in disbelief. Seth genuinely believed something was up.

" Ok ... ok ... Let's get this over and done with, " I sighed heavily, then reluctantly approached the stairs and yelled, " Hey ! Meraz ! Get your no-good, lazy, fat ass down here. Sam sent us ... "  
There was no reply. Seth and I exchanged glances. The house, although unusually neat, had an air of eerie stillness and a light film of dust coated the furniture.

" Shit ! Come on ... " Unusually worried, I took the stairs two at a time and headed for the bedroom at the end of the landing. " You take the rooms over there and I'll check this side of the landing. Ok ? " Seth nodded and darted into the first room. He soon came out, shrugging his broad shoulders helplessly and an equally worried frown graced his boyishly attractive face. I quickly checked the bedroom behind me and found it empty, then slowly turned my attention to the bathroom next door.  
I began to feel distinctly uneasy as my hand gripped the door handle. A shiver ran down my spine and I felt a strange sense of foreboding. Paul's scent hung heavily in the air and then I caught it. I smelt blood. A lot of it ... And the worst thing ... ? It was Paul's ...

I opened the door and was instantly struck by the sweet, metallic aroma of blood as I entered the room. It made me want to gag. I fumbled for the light switch and blinked rapidly as the dark room lit up. It was then I saw him.

" Jake ... ? Jake ! Anything ... ? " I was vaguely aware of Seth's voice as he approached the bathroom, yet I couldn't move. Couldn't tear my eyes away from the prone, now almost waif-like figure that lay on the white tiles before me. Or look away from the almost empty bottle of Jack Daniels, the half empty strip of sleeping tablets and worst of all, the crimson-stained cut-throat razor which taunted me as it lay upon the cold, pristine floor.

" Fuck ! " I swore and as the blood drained away from my face, I began to feel the hot sting of inexplicable tears. My body began to tremble and I leant heavily against the wooden doorframe for support.

The sight of him, curled up in a foetal position in a pool of scarlet had me paralyzed with shock and horror. And I felt so bad. So disgusted with my behaviour. I truly hated myself at that moment.  
Paul's a jerk. An ass. Stubborn. Proud. Impossibly arrogant and obnoxious. He pisses me off and annoys the hell outta me, but when all's said and done _I_ never wanted to see him like this. _Never_ like this. He's always been so strong. So full of life and vitality. Full of fire and passion. And as much as I was loathe to admit it, the guy's funny. He could make me laugh. And despite what my family and I'd thought, _he'd_ treated Rachel well. He'd cared for and respected her. Treated her - even though he was as poor as we were - like a queen. A goddess. And she'd rejected him. Left him irreparably broken and in so much pain. Hurting so badly that he'd avoided everyone and had taken this path. He'd chosen the long and lonely road to oblivion, firmly believing that _he_ wasn't worthy of love. If anything, this only proved to me that Rachel _hadn't _been worthy of him. That _she_ hadn't deserved his love and devotion. That, in the end, _he'd_ been far too good for her ...

" Jake ... What's wrong ? Did you find him ... ? " Seth's anxious voice broke into my thoughts. " Answer me ... Are you ok ? Is Paul ok ? "

I didn't turn to look at Seth, but kept my gaze firmly fixed on Paul, as if willing him to come around. But I didn't want Seth to see him like this. Paul would hate anyone seeing him so pitiful. So susceptible and defenceless. " Don't, Seth ... Don't come any closer. Yeah ... ? Just ... Just go and get Sam. Or Leah. She'll know what to do. Trust me, you _don't_ want to see this. _You_ don't need to, believe me. It's bad ... It's fucking bad- "

" Bu- "

" Seth ! Just go, man. Please ... Make sure the others get here. _Now !_ " I growled and turned to glare at him. Seth took one look at my pale, ravaged face and noted the fear, desperation and panic in my eyes, bolted down the stairs and left the house as if he were being chased by a pack of rabid dogs.

As soon as I heard the front door slammed, I willed myself to walk into the room. To approach him.  
I could scarcely believe the physical change in him. Paul had been a virtual recluse over the past month and had been in hiding. And the rejection of his imprint had clearly taken its toll on him. He was literally and physically wasting away. He wasn't the tallest member of the Pack - but he'd always taken pride in keeping himself fit and in great shape, but now ... Now there was hardly anything of him. His lean, lithe, toned body was emaciated and resembled that of a famine victim. He looked fragile. Weak.  
Seeing his gaunt, bloody frame was heartbreaking and shocking. Paul had always been one of the Pack's strongest members and seeing him look so vulnerable and in such a bad way was devastating. His smooth, russet skin had a deathly grey undertone, his lips were dry and chapped and he had dark circles around his eyes. His closely cropped, dark hair had grown out and was now lank, greasy and messy.

Yet inspite of his terrible and heart-rendingly woeful appearance, I found myself being drawn to Paul. A magnetic force pulled me to him and there was an inexplicable need to care for and protect him. And an overwhelming feeling that my most despised pack-brother had unwittingly become the centre of my universe and was now the most important person in my life ...  
He was barely alive, his breathing shallow and uneven and his usually warm body felt cool to the touch. I grabbed a warm, clean towel which hung over the radiator and sank down to sit beside him, gently pulling him onto my lap. I wrapped the towel around the worst of the wounds and rested his head against my right shoulder.

" Christ, Paul ... You're a fucking idiot, man. Why the hell did you do this ? How could you do something so stupid, huh ? I know we don't get on, but for fuck's sakes, there's no need for you to try to off yourself to get rid of me. All you had to do was tell me to fuck off ... You didn't have to take things this far. I'm truly sorry I gave you such a hard time over the imprint. Over Rachel. I've been such a bastard. I ... I just never realized what you were going through 'til now ... "

And it was true - I hadn't known or understood what Paul had been going through. But now ... ? Now I could appreciate the pain and the suffering he'd experienced when his imprint rejected him. I could empathize with him. There was an intense need and a desperate longing to be at his side at all times. I felt bound to him even though he was entirely unaware of it. As I wound a protective arm around his slender frame, I couldn't help being aware of how fragile he was and that if I wasn't careful I could easily snap him in half. That thought scared the hell out of me. Paul wasn't meant to be like this. He was supposed to be tough. Strong. Fit and athletic. Not this broken, fragile, pitiful waif.

A stray lock of raven hair fell across his eyes and I carefully brushed it away. The tenderness he inspired within me was confusing to say the least. But it wasn't half as bewildering as the feeling of desire he evoked. As he lay quietly in my arms, I took the time to study at him properly. And I mean study him. Despite looking like hell, I could see that Paul was beautiful. Truly beautiful. I'd just never bothered to take the time to see it. To appreciate his beauty. I'd stupidly allowed _my_ feelings - _my_ prejudices against him - to get in the way and cloud my judgement. And now it had taken something like this, something as devastating as Paul's attempt to take his own life, to open my eyes and make me see the error of my ways.

I was so lost in thought, that I failed to hear Sam and Leah's arrival. It was only Leah's horrified gasp from the doorway that drew me back to reality. Startled by their presence, I wrapped my arms protectively around Paul and growled softly in warning as Sam entered the room.

" Jacob ... _What_ have you done ? " He asked quietly, his eyes quickly scanning the room, taking everything in from the large, almost empty liquour bottle, the remaining tablets left in the strip to the lethal, bloody razor and the comatose shifter cradled in my arms.

" I ... uh ... I ... "

" Jacob ! " Sam's eyes narrowed and remained fixed upon me. His massive frame towered over us, his stance pure Alpha. " What have _you_ done ? "

I remained silent, my gaze fixed hungrily, yet tenderly, upon Paul's pale, tearstained, handsome face. Unconsciously, I ran my knuckles up and down his bicep, my touch gentle and light.

" I know what Jake's done, Sam ... " Leah's husky voice was soft, yet oddly sympathetic. I raised my head to look at her and saw that her lovely, whisky-hued eyes were brimming with unshed tears. She gave me a brief, genuine, warm smile and continued, " it's so obvious, Sam. Even a moron like _you_ couldn't miss it, unless you're so fucking blind that you can't see what's right in front of you ... It's simple, you brainless asswipe. Jake's imprinted ... _On_ Paul ... "

**T. B. C.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary: **What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or will he find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer:** All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N: **The Demon Spawn _never_ happened. _EVER ! _I'm in complete denial ... In my AU she doesn't exist.

**Warning:** _contains slash and strong language._

*********

**Broken**

_Jacob's pov:_

Shit ! I can't believe I've fucking imprinted ... And on Paul of all people. The guy's been the biggest pain in my ass since Christ only knows when, and I had to go and imprint on _him ...  
_  
Hell ! This imprinting shit's totally fucked. It's totally fucked me up anyway. I _never_ wanted this. To imprint. I've seen the pain and the suffering it can cause people. It seriously fucked up Leah's life. Completely ruined it. Left her devastated, heartbroken and a totally bitter, vicious-minded bitch. And honestly ... ? I truly can't blame Leah for her bad ass attitude and her reckless actions.  
Leah _never_ asked for any of the crap that imprinting brings, yet she lost everything that was important to her because of it. The loss of the man she loved to her cousin and best friend, triggered the wolf gene in her, making her a rarity - a female shifter. Unfortunately, the shock of her first phase led to tragedy - her father's death from a heart attack. It left Leah inconsolable and absolutely distraught. And to top it all, she then learnt because she was a wolf she'd become a genetic dead end. She'd never be able to have any children. So yeah, you could say I'm no fan of imprinting ...

I know I've said it before, but I never wanted to imprint. I _always_ wanted a choice. To be able to choose who I fell in love with. Not to have that decision torn away from me because of some warped genes I happen to have. I feel that my right to choose my lover, my soulmate, has been stolen from me and that seriously pisses me off. It genuinely winds me up. There's nothing I can do about it. I'm completely helpless. I _can't _fight it.

But when I look down at my imprint - my Paul - lying broken and vulnerable in my arms, I realize I _don't _want to fight it. I've no wish ... no desire to fight it. All I want ... all I yearn for is just one chance. The opportunity to make my imprint happy. To help him forget his pain and heal his broken heart - _if _he'll let me ...  
I never expected to feel this way about a guy. Especially Paul. But in such a short space of time - in a blink of an eye - he's become the most important person in my life. I need him. Want him. Desire him more than anything ...

My beautiful imprint looks so fragile. Delicate. Frail. Yet unbelievably alluring. Although I genuinely want to protect and care for him, I'm also extremely attracted to Paul and I've come to genuinely hate the pain and torment I'd seen over the past few weeks in his anguished, dark molasses-hued eyes.  
The fact that he's tried to kill himself is seriously freaking me out. My feelings towards Rachel, my own flesh and blood, right now are positively murderous. I could kill her for making my imprint feel so worthless, that he felt suicide was his only option. I can only hope and pray that he has the strength and the will to pull through this, 'cos frankly, I can't imagine my life without him ... I don't even want to think about it. Paul dying isn't a fucking option. He has to make it. Not just for his own sake, but for mine too. I fucking need him.

If I lose Paul, I may as well take that goddamn cut-throat and be done with it ... 'Cos I don't think I could survive without him. I _wouldn't_ want to ...

Leah's been arguing with Sam since she told him - and me - that I'd imprinted on Paul, about what our best option is. Seth, in his innocence, had suggested taking him to the hospital. A proposal that Sam immediately shot down in flames and he also accused Seth of being a moron for saying it. That wasn't a good move on Sam's part, as Leah swiftly rounded on him and gave him the most vicious and foul-mouthed tongue lashing that I'd ever heard her inflict on anyone.

" Well, what do _you_ suggest then, Mr Mensa ? " she snapped furiously. " I haven't heard anything remotely helpful or sensible from that yap of yours either. At least, Seth's tried to fucking help, which is more than can be said for you. I thought Paul was meant to be your friend ? Instead of gawping at me like an old trout, why the hell don't you come up with something constructive, hmmm ? D'ya really want him to bleed to death ? 'Cos that's what's gonna happen, oh mighty Alpha, unless you come up with something like yesterday ... "

" I ... uh ... " Sam actually looked shellshocked by her tirade and seemed unable to string a coherent sentence together. He ran a tired hand through his cropped hair, his brow creased with worry. " Can't you do something for him, Lee-Lee ? "

She glared at him angrily. " Don't call me that ! _Me ?_ What the hell d'ya expect me to do ? That's so typical of you men ... If you can't cope with something you just dump it on the nearest woman. Just because I'm training to be a nurse, doesn't mean I'm fucking qualified to do anything ! Besides, I've not had any tutoring on ingestion of tranquilizers yet. We've not got to that part of the fucking syllabus. This is something far too big and too serious for me to screw up ... The way I see it, we've only one option left - that's _if _Jake will allow me to do it- ? "

" Hey ! _I'm _the Alpha, Jacob has no say in this. It's nothing to do with hi- " Sam began heatedly, only for Leah to turn on him once more. She invaded his personal space and began to repeatedly and painfully prod his chest with a long finger, which left an extremely red and sore mark.

" Bullshit, Sam Uley ! Jacob has the only say in the matter. Paul's _his_ imprint. His soulmate. Jake's the one who's responsible for his welfare. It's entirely up to Jake what he wants to do. How _he_ wants us to handle this. It has nothing to do with _you._ So back off, you arrogant fuckwit ! You're not fit to be this Pack's Alpha - _you_ clearly haven't the brain for it ... " Leah left Sam fuming in the middle of the bathroom and Seth gawping at her in awe. She crouched down beside me and sighed softly.

" Jake ... Hon ... I know this is tough. That you're scared and worried sick about Paul, but I need your permission - your blessing - before I do this. Ok ... ? I know you don't want anything to do with those goddamn bloodsuckers and I don't blame you ... I don't want anything to do with those leeches either. But Carlisle Cullen's our only hope, _if_ you want Paul to make it. Will you let me call him ? Allow him across the boundary ? For Paul's sake ... ? "

I couldn't speak. I knew how much this decision had cost Leah. How badly she hated the Cullens. Yet she was genuinely willing to push her hatred and mistrust aside for the sake of her pack brother. She was prepared to do it for Paul - someone who she always had a heated and volatile relationship with. And for me. Proving to me that she was a true friend. Someone who genuinely cared deep down for others. Despite her reputation for being a bitter harpy. And a cold, vicious and vindictive bitch. When it came down to it, Leah's heart was definitely in the right place.

With a slight nod, I gave my consent and felt her gently and reassuringly squeeze my forearm.

" Thanks, Jake. You know you've done the right thing ... I'm really proud of you, y'know ? " she murmured softly. " There's a good chance you've probably saved Paul's life with that decision ... " And with that remark, she spun gracefully on her heel and sped downstairs to phone for help.

******* **

I don't know what Leah had told him, but Dr Fang turned up ten minutes later. And he didn't come alone.

" Mutt ... "

I reluctantly tore my eyes away from Paul's face and gave a faint grin before replying, " Blondie ... "

Rosalie Hale swanned into the bathroom looking every inch the beautiful ice-queen that she was. And she was not empty handed. She carried a large case and a box full of dressings.

" Jacob. " Dr Cullen greeted me, his enigmatic, golden eyes flickering briefly to the unconscious man in my arms. " Bella misses you. Wants to see you. She insisted on coming- "

I growled softly in anger when he mentioned _her _name. After the way she'd treated me lately, I didn't want to see her. I felt like killing her.

" Don't worry, Mutt ... I put a stop to that. Threatened to break her miserable, scrawny, little neck if she even came close to you, " Rosalie smirked with satisfaction. Somehow or other - much to Leah and Seth's astonishment - Blondie and I'd always got on well. Our bickering was our way of showing affection for each other. Turned out we both had a mutual interest in cars and all things connected with them. Naturally, we bonded because of it.

" Rosalie ! " Carlisle admonished her.

She elegantly shrugged her slim shoulders and replied coolly, " _What ?_ She treated Jacob appallingly, Carlisle, and you know it. She deserved everything she got. And I'm not sorry for the way I went about it either ... She can't go around treating people who care about her like that. To be so selfish. So manipulative and so cruel. Her behaviour's worse than mine ... and that's saying something. So long as _she's_ happy and gets what she wants, it's to hell with everyone else and their feelings and opinions. I hate her ... "

Rosalie began to move closer to us and suddenly found Sam blocking her way. He glowered at her, his large body full of tension, but she was far from intimidated by him. If anything, she glared defiantly at Sam.

" What are_ you _doing here, leech ? " Sam demanded, clearly furious at the lack of respect she gave him. " _Only_ Dr Cullen was given permission to cross onto the Res. "

Rosalie gave him a bored look and calmly drawled, " I came here for the Mutt's sake. No one else's. I don't need your permission for that. I'd have come anyway, because despite what everyone thinks, Jacob's my friend. And he needs me. So, I suggest ... _Fido,_ that you get out of my face pretty damn quick. Frankly, you and your posturing and demands bore the hell out of me. "

Sam growled furiously and looked as if he were about to rip the stunning blonde vampire's head clean off her shoulders, when thankfully, Leah - of all people - decided to intervene.

" Sam ... " she said reasonably. " I think you should drop this. For crying out loud, you idiot, Blondie's right, you need to drop this and this attitude of yours. She's here for Jake. To help. Isn't that all that matters here right now ? We _need_ her. Hell ! Have you forgotten what's important here already ? Paul needs her. _He_ needs them both. They're his only hope. And I for one, am glad they've bothered to come ... They could have so easily refused to help, but they didn't ... So quit being an ass, Uley, and let them both get on with what they came here to do. "

Leah turned from him and gave Rosalie a faint, yet genuine, smile. " Take no notice of _him,_ Blondie. _I_ never do. He's just a jerk with the IQ of an amoeba. He's so full of piss and wind that it's over-inflated his ego ... As far as I'm concerned, if you're able to help in _any_ way, then you're most welcome ... "

Rosalie actually returned Leah's smile, recognizing at once a kindred spirit. They both eyed each other with mutual respect and awe. Sam meanwhile, remained where he was, silently fuming. He refused to move and clearly wanted to annihilate Rosalie, who was becoming more impatient and riled with every passing second.

" Back off, Cujo, " she finally snarled, " and let me get on with what I came here to do- "

" Make me ... " he taunted her. " Just make me ... Just give me an excuse - that's all _I_ need, leech ... "

**  
T. B. C.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary: **What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer:** All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N:** The Demon Spawn never happened. _EVER !_ I'm in complete denial ... In my crazy AU she simply doesn't exist - and _never_ will.

**Warning:** _contains slash and strong language._

**_********* _**

**_Broken_**

_Hot temper with the shortest fuse You're such a mess with an attitude  
_~ Kelly Clarkson, " I Want You"

_***** _

_**Previously:** Sam meanwhile, remained where he was, silently fuming. He refused to move and clearly wanted to annihilate Rosalie, who was becoming more impatient and riled with every passing second._

_" Back off, Cujo, " she finally snarled, " and let me get on with what I came here to do- "_

_" Make me ... " he taunted her. " Just make me ... Just give me an excuse - that's all I need, leech ... " _

**_*****_**

_Jacob's pov:_

Never let it be said that Rosalie Hale doesn't have a lot of nerve. She possesses it in spades. Before Sam could carry on with his tirade, she was right in his face. Far from daunted, and if anything, going by the cold disdain on her lovely face and the murderous glint in her striking eyes, if looks could kill, Sam would have been dead and buried before he realized it.

" Seriously ... _Don't._ Tempt. _Or._ Push. Me. Fleabag ... " The sweet smile curving her full lips, didn't reach her eyes which were now cold and calculating. " You're already on borrowed time. Bigger men than you have tried to bring me down in the past, and where are they now, hmmm ? Cold in the earth, that's where ... _You_ don't frighten me, dog ... I've come across more terrifying chihuahuas with bigger stones, that are way tougher than you ... " She deliberately turned her back and began to elegantly walk away.

" Why ... ? You bi- " Sam snarled. His face was very red and he kept clenching and unclenching his huge fists as he struggled against the overwhelming urge to phase. He lunged forward only to find she'd nimbly sidestepped out of his reach and had him in an unbreakable headlock before he realized what was going on.

" Oh, honestly ... " Rosalie sighed dramatically, arching a perfectly plucked eyebrow. " Is _that_ the best you can come up with, Uley ? And _you're_ meant to be the Alpha ? As much as I'd love to kick your hairy butt to hell and back, puppy, I haven't the time or the inclination right now to play with you. I've far more important things to do. Like helping Jake and more importantly, saving your pack brother. So, quit wasting my time or I _will_ stop playing nice. You seriously don't want to piss me off, Sam Uley - not if you know what's good for you ... " Without warning, she released her deathgrip upon him and he stumbled backwards before landing on his ass.

Sam paused. He looked absolutely dumbstruck and if I'm honest, pitifully lost. Rosalie had thoroughly put him in his place and he hadn't a damn clue how to react to it.

She coolly stood at her father's side, close to where I sat cradling Paul gently. As she passed Leah, the pair of them glanced towards Sam and exchanged satisfied smirks - and a thought suddenly crossed my mind. Poor Sam ... It seemed that the girls had bonded over their animosity towards him and were very likely going be very close friends because of it. If that was the case, Sam's life was going to be a living hell from now on and I wouldn't want to be in his place for love nor money ...

Rosalie crouched down beside me and cast an appraising look at Paul, before calmly reaching across to gently sweep a lock of raven hair away from his face.  
" So, Jake ... This is your imprint ? Paul ... ? " she asked softly, glancing up to see me nod in reply. " _He's_ beautiful ... "

I jerked my head up, searching for any sign of sarcasm, malice or bitchiness and found none. All I could detect was truth. Nothing more, nothing less. Then I realized, that this was the first time she'd laid eyes on Paul in human form and she was able to see him without any preconceived ideas. One thing you could always count on with Ros, is that she's always - unfailingly - brutally honest and that she despises lies and deceit. She'd spoken the gods-honest truth and had seen my imprint for what he truly was ... That despite his current predicament and his godawful appearance, he was beautiful ...

I smiled faintly and lightly traced a path with my index finger across his cheekbone and over his firm jawline. The fact that my touch was so tender and delicate surprized me. Paul had been the last person I'd ever imagined capable of evoking such feelings within me. After all, our track record towards each other in the past had _never_ been good. We'd always argued, bickered, brawled and fought viciously. Had never got on. Yet, here I was now, all mushy over the guy._ All_ I wanted was to protect him. Ensure he was safe and well. To care for him and make damn sure that he was happy ... That _I'd_ be the one who could, and would, _always_ make him happy ...

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts about Paul, that I'd failed to hear what Rosalie'd just said until I became aware of a pale, slim, elegant hand being waved rapidly in front of my eyes.

" Jake ... ? Mutt ...? You need to let Paul go now. Carlisle needs to check him over and it's probably best if you stay with Seth and ... Rin Tin Tin, while we try and sort out your imprint- "

" Ros, I'm not leaving him here alo- " I protested, panicking. It wasn't that I didn't trust her or her father. Far from it. I did. And Carlisle Cullen was a very respected doctor. Gifted and eminent in his field. No, what I was worried about was Paul. I feared what he would do should he regain consciousness and find himself alone. Amongst strangers. And worst still, with his worst enemies - leeches. Paul's temper was notorious and if sufficiently riled or anxious, he could phase at a drop of a hat, and when he did so, carnage and total chaos often ensued. There was no way I'd leave him on his own. I couldn't. I damn well wouldn't ... " I can't, Ros ... "

" But that's it, furball ... " she sighed, for once unusually patient with me. She tossed a long swathe of silky blonde hair across her right shoulder. " Paul _won't_ be on his own. Leah's volunteered to help us. To stay with him and make sure he's ok. He's in fine hands, Jake, I swear to you. We'll do our very best ... everything we possibly can to make sure he pulls through. I promise ... Now, go ... "

*********

So, here I am, half an hour later, pacing back and forth across the landing like a deranged father-to-be, managing to successfully annoy the hell out of both Seth and our "mighty leader" in the process.

Not knowing how my imprint is doing, is freaking the hell outta me and if I'm being truly honest, the panic I'm experiencing is making me feel as sick as a dog. It's as if I'm being driven slowly insane and I'm already suffering from an intense craving to see him.

" Jake, you need to calm down, man ... Paul'll be fine, " Seth murmured in an attempt to calm me. " You have to get a grip. All this pacing - I'm getting dizzy just watching you. Dr Cullen knows what he's doing ... and my sis is with them. Keeping an eye on things ... "

" Yeah, Jacob. There's nothing you can do right now, so park your dumb ass down and wait like the rest of us. " Trust our esteemed Alpha to add his two cents worth and succeed in bugging me at the same time.

It had been pretty quiet behind the closed bathroom door - ever since both Leah and Rosalie had manhandled me out onto the landing. God only knew what Dr Fang and the two harpies were doing to my poor, heartbroken imprint. I was just praying - desperately - that Paul had the strength _and_ the will to make it. Then I heard it. The horrible sound of someone retching and being violently ill. I froze. My panic-stricken eyes met Seth's, which were full of concern. Sam looked equally worried.

Then, a few minutes later, the door opened. Dr Cullen strode out briskly, his handsome face an impassive mask. My imprint was carefully and gently held in his arms. Paul's body was still. Limp. Unresponsive.

The three of us rushed forward. Frightened by what we saw. " What the hell have you done to him ? " Sam immediately demanded, as both he and Seth tried to hold me back. I struggled. Fought desperately to get to Paul's side.

" P-Paul ... ? " I whispered. To my horror, my eyes began to burn with the stinging sensation of unshed tears. " Noooo ... "

" I-is he ... ? Is he dead, Doc ? " Seth managed to voice the words I'd been unable to utter, yet needed so badly to know the answer to. Both he and Sam had a firm grip on me and looked visibly shocked and upset.

" Dead ? " the blond leech asked. " What makes you think that ? " His mild gaze passed over the three of us, noting the fear, distress, grief and anger on our faces. Rosalie silently brushed passed us and ran down the stairs out of the house.

" But he's so- "

" Oh, for fuck's sake ! " Leah growled huskily as she approached us, her arms laden with clean towels and a large plastic bowl. " You three incompetent morons are hopeless ... Haven't you seen an unconscious wolf before ? Honestly ! Dr Cullen's had to pump out his stumoch, then give him something for the pain and to help him rest. He should be coming out of it in a few hours time. " She strode past us and entered the bedroom next door, which I took to be Paul's and calmly stripped the bed and put clean sheets on it.  
Leah shook her head in disbelief and sadness and muttered to herself as she tucked the corners of the sheet neatly under the mattress, " I can't believe we hadn't noticed things had gotten so bad. That none of us cared enough for him. That we left him on his own to cope. I should've known something was wrong. That he was hurting. That he was in so much pain ... Damn it ! I _should've_ recognized the signs. I feel like shit. I should've fucking helped him ... Paul's a major pain in the ass, but he's my pack brother. _He's_ family ... I should've fucking been there for him. Paul should _never_ have had to go through all this by himself ... It's not right ... "

Rosalie sauntered into the room toting a stand which had a drip of some sort attached to it and carefully placed it at the head of the bed. She paused at Leah's side and gently squeezed her shoulder, her golden eyes gleaming with rarely seen warmth and sympathy. Leah looked up and gave her a faint, yet brief smile which was tinged with sadness.

" We should get Paul settled down. Let him rest ... " Carlisle remarked quietly from the doorway. He entered the room with Paul still held in his arms and approached the queen-sized bed, then carefully placed him under the covers. Rosalie gently took Paul's right hand and silently attached the drip to it, using a cannula inserted into the vein and held firmly in place with surgical tape.

" Someone should stay with him tonight. Just to keep an eye on him. " Carlisle began, only for Sam to interrupt him.

" As Alpha, I think I should st- "

I gave a low, deep, possessive growl and moved to stand between Sam and the bed. There was no way in hell that was happening. Over my dead body. Paul was _my_ imprint. My responsibility. _Mine ..._

Leah immediately stepped between us and snapped angrily, " What the fuck's wrong with you, Sam ? Huh ? You just can't leave well alone, can you ? Quit interfering and trying to control everything and everyone. Have you forgotten something ? Paul is_ Jake's_ imprint, not yours. Jake should be the one to stay with him. Stop trying to come between them. You have your own imprint. Your _precious_ little Emily ... If you want to be with an imprint, why the hell don't you just fuck off home, back to yours ? Just leave Jacob and Paul alone ... They don't need this shit from you right now. " Her chest rose and fell in agitation and she glared at him with pure contempt, practically daring him to defy her.

Carlisle had been silently watching the exchange between our fiesty she-wolf and our high-handed Alpha. Then after a moment's contemplation, he ran his hand through his immaculately coiffed blond hair and sighed.

" I'm afraid I must agree with Leah on this matter, Sam. Jacob should be the one to stay with him. Paul's his imprint and it's vital they forge some sort of bond. To be able to get along somehow. Besides, you have your own imprint to take into consideration. Your Emily must be worried about you by now - you should go home. She needs you ... I'll call back in the morning, to see how he's doing ... "

Sam gave him a curt nod of thanks and turned on his heel and left. Seth gave the doctor a warm, grateful smile and Leah - who turned out to be full of surprizes this evening - actually gave him a brief hug before grabbing Seth's hand and hauling his ass back home.

" Th-thank you ... Both of you ... " I said quietly as I ran a tired hand through my dark hair. " You didn't have to do this. But you did and I really appreciate it. "

Carlisle merely smiled kindly and replied, " You're welcome. If there's any change at all. Anything you're not happy with or worried about, call me straight away. You have Rosalie's number. _Use it._ Otherwise, if I don't hear anything from you, I'll be over first thing to check up on things. "

I nodded and watched him leave. Suddenly, I was engulfed in an ice-cold embrace.

" I'll be seeing you in the morning, Wolfie, " Rosalie announced huskily, with a slightly impish smile.

" What ? _You're_ willingly volunteering to come back ? What about your delicate nose ? " I teased half-heartedly.

" Oh ... I can live with it, mutt. It wasn't so bad once your brainless Alpha took his stench back home with him ! " she retorted. " Besides, I want to see that gorgeous man of yours awake ... Look after him, Jake. And if there's any change and he gets worse and you don't call, I'll have your hide. D'ya understand ? "

" Sure ... sure ... I'm running scared, Blondie ! " I drawled, grinning and winced when she playfully punched my left bicep.

" You better be, Black, you better be ... " Rosalie smirked, then sashayed elegantly out of the house to where her father waited patiently in the car.

**_*****_**

I must have fallen asleep. I'd slept fitfully on and off during the night and kept waking up to check on Paul. Not trusting if he would eventually wake up or not. In the end, I fell into a deep and restless slumber in the chair beside the bed, with my head propped on my forearms which were resting on the mattress.

I suddenly woke up to a very pissed off, husky voice demanding, " What the fuck d'ya think _you're_ doing here, Jacob ... ? "

I opened my sleepy eyes to meet a pair of equally drowsy, smokily seductive, velvety chocolate-hued ones. They were fixed intently upon me and full of heated anger and deep suspicion ...

**_T. B. C.  
_**


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary:** What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer:** All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N:** The Demon Spawn never happened. _EVER !_ I'm in complete denial ... In my crazy AU she simply doesn't exist.

**Warning:** _contains slash and strong language._

** ***********

**Broken**

_Paul's pov:_

When I finally came around, it was to a splitting headache - rather like having your brain being crushed and battered with a sledgehammer from within. Not only were my temples throbbing viciously, but my stumoch felt extremely tender, like it had been kicked hard and repeatedly and my throat ached badly, as if someone had ripped something out of it. What really pissed me off was the bad taste I had in my mouth - vomit. It seemed I'd been violently sick, yet I had no recollection of it.

Wincing slightly, I tentatively opened my eyes and immediately found myself looking at one of the last people I'd wanted to see. Jacob Black ...  
I tried to convince myself that I was having a bad dream. That seeing _him_ of all people, peacefully asleep in my bedroom was a nightmare. One big fucking joke ... and the damn joke was on me.

Jacob and I loathed each other with a rabid passion . Somehow, we both always seemed to know which buttons to press that would seriously piss each other off. We'd become so good at starting fights, that they unfailingly became a daily occurrence, much to the rest of the Pack's annoyance. There was always a great deal of fraught tension whenever we were in the same room, as even the slightest thing could kick-off any ill-feeling and trouble between us.  
I'm not sure how I came to despise Jacob so much. He could always annoy the hell out of me. Make me so mad that I'd just want to kill him. And the worst thing about it ... ? I never knew or understood why I got so angry with him. Or how he was able to have such an effect on me.

I'm a jerk ... I'll freely admit to being a wise-ass. I'm not even going to bother to deny it. But I'm not as dumb as I act. I'm more perceptive and observant than people give me credit for. Despite what they all think, I have a brain - a pretty good one - and I'm not afraid to use it. When I have to. I know why Jacob hates me and it's mostly because of his sister. Rachel. My imprint ...  
He never thought I was good enough for her. That I'd inevitably wind up hurting Rachel and ruining her life. I never imagined that I'd be the one that would end up devastated and heartbroken. That _I'd_ be in so much physical, emotional and mental pain that I just wanted to be put out of my misery. Permanently.

Shit ! Out of all the Pack members, why the hell did it have to be _him ?_ _Why_ did he have to be here ? He must hate this as much as I loathe being in his company. Jeez ! Someone "upstairs" must have an evil sense of humour to force the pair of us to spend time together like this. Surprizingly, I began to feel something I hadn't felt for a while ... Anger. Hot, incandescent fury ... and a burning suspicion.

I narrowed my eyes and glared at him as he silently slept. He looked as if he hadn't a care in the world and without warning, what little control I had left finally snapped.

" What the fuck d'ya think _you're_ doing here, Jacob ... ? "

At the sound of my voice, Jacob's handsome head jerked upwards. His rich, dark chocolate eyes were drowsy and to my astonishment, met mine with an unexpected warmth. To mask my confusion, I growled, " Well ... ? "

I continued to look daggers at him, not bothering to hide my contempt. For some unknown reason, he appeared slightly flustered and there was a tint of colour on his high cheekbones.

" I ... uh ... I ... You're awake ... " Jacob said huskily, the normally hard gaze which he reserved only for me, unusually soft. Tender. Compassionate. And full of sorrow. It was beginning to freak me out. I'd never been on the receiving end of such a look from him and I didn't like it. It made me uneasy.

" Nah ... You're still dreaming and I'm your worst fucking nightmare ! " I snapped sarcastically. " Yeah, I'm awake, you fucking moron. Worse luck ... Why the hell are you here ? " I couldn't help it, but hostility came off me in waves and the way he continued to steadily watch me ... ? Weird didn't even begin to cover it.

" Y-You don't remember ? " He asked tentatively, his voice gentle, yet mildly curious. That was a first. Jacob Black had never been cautious when it came to me. His attitude had always been reckless, rushing in where angels feared to tread. I may not like him, but I grudgingly respected him because he had no fear of me. But now I could detect fear in him. It was there, shining clearly in his striking eyes, in every tense line of his tall, lean, muscular frame. It radiated off him. But it wasn't fear for himself. It was fear for me ...

" Why, Paul ? Why the fuck did you do it, man ? I can't believe you did that ... You scared the shit out of us, you stupid jerk ... " For once the insult lacked his usual bite. There was no venom in the tone of his voice, only genuine sadness and regret.

" Why ... ? Tell me ... What's it to you, anyways ? Why should _you _care ? You've _never_ cared before. I'd've thought you'd have been glad that it happe- "

" _GLAD ?_ Is that what you honestly think about me, you goddamn asshole ? Shit ! You're more fucked up than I thought ... " Jacob roared, his face clearly shocked. " _I_ found you, you dumb shit. D'ya know how awful that was ? How I felt seeing you like that ? Finding you lying half-dead in a fucking pool of blood. That's the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I know you hate me ... And I can't blame you for it. Not after the way I've behaved. Ok, I know we don't get on but for fuck's sake, Meraz ... I didn't want to see you like that. _Never_ like that, Paul ... "

" Yeah. Right. Whatever makes you sleep at night ... " I shrugged, sweeping my hair away from my face. I suddenly felt tired. Defeated. " You should never have come here, Jacob. Prying into my business. You had _no_ right. No fucking right ... Why did you have to interfere, huh ? You should have left me alone ... Let me die ... You just couldn't leave well alone, could you ? You had to meddle ... Couldn't even let me die in peace, could you ? W-why did y-you have to ruin everything ? There's nothing left here for me anymore. I don't want to be here, you bastard ... " To my horror, my voice broke and I could tell by the stunned look on Jacob's face that he'd heard it too.

Not wanting to be there, alone with him anymore, I threw back the sheet and tore the cannula out of the back of my hand. I rose to my feet, intent on fleeing, but my traitorous body was shaking so badly. My legs began to buckle and suddenly gave way, but instead of hitting the floor, I found myself in Jacob's embrace, held tightly against his hot, powerful body. I couldn't stop shaking and before I knew what was happening, I was crying. Crying so hard that I couldn't stop ... even if I wanted to.

I've no idea how long we stood there together like that. I guess I kinda lost track of time. It was kinda bizarre. Us being like this. Embracing each other. Well, him holding me. Me allowing him to do so. Slumping in his arms. Feeling strangely safe. Protected. And comfortable with him. It was crazy ... Insane ...  
I thought I was tall at six foot three, but Jacob's ripped, six foot eight frame towered over me. Easily. And in my present form, I looked and felt both vulnerable and fragile. He could easily break me - if he wished ... But here he was - my enemy and Pack brother - comforting me. Willingly.  
He'd changed a lot since he'd phased and become a wolf. Before, he'd just been another cute kid from the Res. But now, he'd become a strikingly handsome seventeen year old, two years my junior and a perfect, physical example of how a wolf should be. Tall, lean, lithe and muscular, with smooth, flawless russet skin. Like all of the other members of the Black family, he was handsome. Undeniably so.

Jacob gave a deep sigh, then I felt him begin to move back towards the bed. The mattress suddenly dipped as he sat down, pulling me carefully onto his lap, his muscular arms winding around my waist in a firm, yet reassuringly gentle grip. Unconsciously, my right arm draped across his broad shoulders and my head rested against his chest. I could feel the heat of his naked torso seeping into mine as my body relaxed. His warm flesh against my slightly cooller flesh. Jacob's hand soothingly rubbed my bare back and I closed my eyes. Savouring again, the strange sensation of feeling safe in his arms.

What the hell was happening, I had no clue. All I felt was confusion and absolute, sheer embarrassment about breaking down in front of him. I had a horrible feeling that as soon as things returned to "normal" between us, that Jacob would quickly throw my weakness - _my _vulnerability - back in my face at every possible opportunity. But for now, I was too weary ... too tired to care.

" Paul ... ? " Jacob still continued to rub my back, but his soft-spoken voice sounded hesitant. Uncertain.

" Uh-huh ... ? "

" Th-There's something I have to tell you ... Something _you_ need to know ... "

**_T. B. C.  
_**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary:** What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer: **All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N: **The Demon Spawn never happened. _EVER !_ I'm in complete denial ... In my crazy AU she simply doesn't exist.

**Warning:** _contains slash and strong language. _

*********

**Broken**

_Jacob's pov:  
_  
Actually witnessing the dead look in my imprint's dark, expressive eyes and hearing the defeated tone in his husky voice was damn near killing me. I couldn't believe that Paul - someone who passionately lived life to the full - had now been reduced to this. That he'd lost his lust for life. That he wanted to die. Yearned for it.

It really hurt, knowing how little Paul cared for himself. That he'd actually stopped caring. I felt genuine physical pain as I realized how broken - how fragile - the strongest, toughest, most confident wolf in the Pack had become. Seeing him at his most vulnerable, at his lowest point, was slowly but surely, breaking my heart. All I could see was that my wolf's spirit was shattered. His heart had fractured into a million irreparable pieces. Until he was well and truly broken ...

Then, without warning, Paul actually fell apart in front of my very eyes. Completely. He collapsed. His legs gave way beneath him. Before I realized what I'd done, he was in my arms. Limp and unprotesting. Then suddenly, he began to weep. The Pack's original, big, bad wolf was crying. Sobbing uncontrollably. As if it was the end of the world. And it was the most distressing, shocking image I'd ever witnessed ...

All I could do was hold him tight. Try and keep him together. It was all I wanted to do. Keep my imprint safe. Protected. Cared for. And loved.  
Even though he was completely distraught and an absolute fucking mess, I couldn't deny the tiny spark of happiness I felt as I took pleasure in the simple act of comforting him. I savoured the feel of him in my arms. How his slight, fragile body fit perfectly against mine. How fucking perfectly and incredibly right it felt just to hold him ... It was as if he'd been created especially for that sole purpose.  
His sudden, dramatic weight loss and frailty had me worried sick. He no longer moved with power, purpose and grace, his actions were sluggish and lethargic. Exhausted, he slumped against me and as I felt what little strength he possessed seep from his body, I sat on the bed and carefully pulled him onto my lap. Strangely and to my great dismay, he did not protest nor resist. He didn't seem to have the energy to do anything but cling to me and cry. Under normal circumstances, I would have seen him as pitiful, laughable even, but things _had_ changed. Drastically. Paul was now my imprint and I hated seeing him suffer. Hated knowing he was still in so much pain.

As he draped his right arm across my shoulders and rested his head on my chest, I was able to appreciate how fragile and vulnerable he'd become. How easily he would break ... and that was only going to happen over _my _dead body. I was going to make damn sure of it.  
Absently, I gently rubbed his bare back, my hand moving in circles over warm, smooth skin. The fact that he passively allowed me to do so and hadn't tried to kill me yet, just blew me away. It was as if he couldn't be bothered. It confused me. That he didn't react like he used to. I realized at that moment, how much I missed his fiery temper, ballsy bad ass attitude and his fighting spirit. I even missed the snarky wise-cracks and sly digs that he made. God ! I'd give anything to hear them once more ...  
I continued to stroke his back and as I felt his warm tears fall upon my bare chest, I finally came to a decision. I _had_ to tell him. He _needed_ to know. Fuck ! _He_ had a right to know. Even though I knew he'd be far from happy about it. That he would definitely react badly once I'd told him ...

" Paul ... ? "

" Uh-huh ... ? " he mumbled softly.

This was it. Time to bite the bullet. I had to tell him. I _owed_ him that at least. Hell ! I owed myself that. I needed to know if I had the remotest chance with him. Even the slightest one. I'd willingly take anything he was prepared to give.

" Th-There's something I have to tell you ... Something _you_ need to know ... "

He immediately froze. I could feel the tension seeping into him and his warm, pliant body became rigid in my arms. Yet he remained silent. Deathly silent.

" Paul ... ? I know you're gonna be fucking pissed, but I need you to listen. Ok ? I need you to hear me out ... Please ... ? " I'd never begged him for anything, yet here I was pleading with him ... Needing him to give me a chance. I craved it more than anything I'd ever wanted in my life.

He gave an imperceptible nod and remained, unusually for him, mute. I took a deep, calming breath and continued, " I ... uh ... Shit ! This is kinda weird ... I imprinted, Paul ... On _you_ ... "

*********

Minutes passed. They seemed like hours.  
Paul remained silent and unmoving. Whether it was a good thing or not, I wasn't sure. At one stage, I began to think he'd fallen asleep, then I heard a faint sigh escape from his exquisite lips.  
Hell ! Did I just say "exquisite" in connection with Paul's lips ? Sheesh ! This imprint shit's seriously starting to fuck me up ... But when I look at him now, that's all I can see. He _is_ beautiful. And this new-found fragility only makes his beauty even more alluring.

" You did _what ?_ You imprin- " he asked quietly, slowly raising his head to look at me with confused and shocked, dark, velvety eyes. He looked suspicious, then suddenly growled softly, " Ok ... I get it. A joke's a goddamn joke. You've had your fun at my expense. Now why don't you just ... just get your shit together and get the fuck out of my home ... Just leave and stay the hell away from me ! "

Shaking my head, I met his furious gaze steadily, then slowly raised my right hand to gently rest against his cheek. He flinched, and as I lightly brushed the tears away with the ball of my thumb, I heard his breath softly hitch.

" Is that what you think, Paul ? That I'm messing with you ? That all this is one big fucking joke ? " I asked softly. I watched him gravely, for once with no trace of humour on my face or in my voice. " Do _I_ honestly look like I'm laughing ? Well, do I ? "

" How the hell should _I _know, Black ? " he spat angrily. Then just as quickly as his temper flared, the brief spark of fire within him suddenly died. He slumped wearily against me and groaned. " Fuck ! I can't believe you've gone and done something so fucking stupid, Jacob ... Have you lost it entirely ? "

" Well, it's not as if I've gone and done it on purpose, you jerk. I didn't make a spur of the moment decision and think this would stop me being bored ... You know my feelings on imprinting. I _never_ wanted this. Never wanted my right to choose who I love stolen away from me. I wanted to experience falling in love and all the crap that goes with it . Y'know, naturally ? Not to be forced into caring and loving someone- "

" Like this ... ? With someone like me ? " he finished huskily, his eyes anguished and full of sorrow. " It's not as if we want or go looking for it ... None of us do. But once it's happened ... ? You're well 'n' truly fucked. There's no way out. You can't fight it. It's impossible. You'll never beat an imprint. No one can. But if you want to try, then go ahead ... Be my guest ... "

I sighed then quietly admitted, " I never said I _wanted_ to fight it ... I'd rather imprint on someone I know, than a total stranger ... Or a child ... "

Paul's eyes widened incredulously, " You mean you're just going to accept it ? No arguments ? "

" Uh-huh. Like you said, there's no point fighting the imprint. I'll never beat it. So, why bother ? What I really want to know is how d'ya want us to handle this ... ? "

" The hell if I know ... " he muttered, still looking rather dazed and confused. " Shit ! This won't work. There's too much bad blood between us. You hate me. You're nowhere near being my favourite person on the Res _and_ you drive me crazy ... I'm broken, Jacob. Can't you see I'm a goddamn fucking mess ? Don't get involved with me. Walk away while you can ... Don't make the same mistake as I did. You'll just end up in the same fucking mess as me and I wouldn't wish that on anyone ... Please, Jacob ... For once, just listen to me, or we'll wind up killing each other ... "

I shook my head in denial. " I can't ... _You _of all people should know the pull of an imprint, Paul ... I need to be close to you somehow. Don't ask that of me. Please ... " I closed the gap between us and rested my forehead against his.

" You're crazy ... D'ya know that ? " I could tell by the tone of his voice that his resolve was weakening, and my left hand slowly drifted to rest against the side of his neck, my fingers absently caressing his nape. He gave a soft gasp but didn't pull away.

" I never said I was sane, Paul, " I whispered, a faint, hopeful smile playing on my lips. " I just want you to give us a chance. I _need_ you to give me a chance. No matter how small. I only want ... need to make you ... try and help you be happy ... "

" Fine ... Shit ! Why do I get the feeling we'll both end up regretting this ? " Paul snapped wearily. " But I'm warning you, Jacob, hell _will _freeze over if you're expecting anything more than friendship ... "

**T. B. C.  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary:** What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer:** All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N: **The Demon Spawn never happened. _EVER !_ I'm in complete denial ... In my crazy AU she simply doesn't exist.

**Warning:** _contains slash and strong language.  
_

***********  
**

**Broken**

_The Fall; Jacob's pov:_

It's been three months now since I've imprinted. _Three months ! _I still can't believe that I imprinted on Paul, the most volatile member of the Pack and that he's unwittingly become my world. _He's_ everything to me. I just _can't_ stop thinking about him. Paul Meraz, the one person who I hated more than anything, is on my mind twenty-four-seven and I couldn't be happier about it.  
These feelings I have for Paul are getting stronger with each passing day. They are so intense. Half the time I'm just confused by the way I feel ... then I'm simply overwhelmed by him. I know that I'm inexplicably bound to Paul for the rest of my life and that I should be really pissed about it ... but I'm not. Far from it.

Ever since "it" happened, things _have_ changed between us. Not as quick as _I'd_ like, but things have improved. Drastically ... and for the better according to the rest of the Pack. We rarely fight these days. It came as a helluva shock at first, to both of us, that we actually were capable of getting along and that we even - although neither of us would admit it - liked and enjoyed each other's company.  
Trouble is, I want more. I crave more from my imprint. I've gone and done something really stupid. Somewhere along the line, I've seriously fucked up ... Paul's my imprint and I've fallen for him. Fallen hard. I didn't intend for it to happen. Didn't plan it. It just fucking happened. I couldn't help it. Like I said, I can't stop thinking about him. Even when I close my eyes, he's all I see and his voice that used to irritate the hell outta me ? I love its deep, husky, sexy growl. It seriously turns me on. I haven't told Paul that I'm in love with him, he's just about got his head around the fact that I've imprinted on him. Anything else's is just gonna freak him out, big time. And honestly ? That's the last thing I want.

I'm still blown away that he hasn't rejected me. That he's given me a chance. I mean he didn't have to. He didn't owe me a single thing. Yet, despite his wariness of me and his fear of being hurt again, he had. Even if it was just to extend an olive branch of friendship. I should have been content with that. But I'm not. Not anymore. I _want_ Paul in every possible way. Mentally. Emotionally. And physically.  
I get butterflies in my stumoch and my heart literally flips when I see him. In the past, whenever I felt those intense, obsidian eyes upon me, I was only capable of feeling anger and contempt. But now ? His heated, fiery gaze just sets me alight and makes me melt in a way only he can make me feel. I burn _for _Paul. _Only_ Paul. He has this power over me and he's completely oblivious to it. He's totally unaware that my existence revolves entirely around him. Just him. That I'd do everything - hell, anything - in _my _power to keep him safe. To make him happy once more. And ultimately ? To prove to him that he _is_ loved - deeply and wholeheartedly - and that _he_ is worthy of being loved ...

*********

**  
**Fuck ! Paul's looking pretty fine right now. Damn fine ...

We're in my living room. The other Pack members have just left after one of Sam's impromptu meetings. Leaving just me and Paul. _Alone._  
It's the first time he's ventured into my home since my so-called bitch of a sister cruelly rejected him. And I can tell just by the tense way he holds himself and by the frozen, yet anguished expression on his lean, handsome face that he's finding it hard to be here. Everything here's just a constant, extremely painful reminder of _her_ and I can see that he's barely holding things together. That he's struggling to contain himself. That he's still suffering. Still hurting. Badly ...  
And it fucking hurts to see him like this. I hate it. Hate what Rachel's done to him and hate her more than anything for making him feel this way.

I'm also pretty mad with Sam right now. He insisted on the meeting being held here and more or less - without using the Alpha command - forced Paul to come to the last place he wanted to be. A place which brought him nothing but pain and bad memories. All through the meeting, he was restless. Like a cat on a hot tin roof.  
Unusually for him, he'd stood quietly during the entire meeting. Didn't eat or drink. His dark eyes darting every so often towards the back door, longing for escape. He leant against a wall, his tall, lithe body coiled with tension. Ready to bolt for freedom at the first chance he got.

As soon as Leah and Seth left to meet up with Rosalie, I saw him begin to edge his way closer to the door. It was as if he could almost touch freedom and couldn't wait to grasp it with both hands. And it hurt. A damn lot. Knowing that he didn't want to stay. That the pain Rachel had caused him far outweighed the fragile bond of friendship that had gradually developed between us since I'd imprinted on him.

" Y-You're leaving ... ? " I asked quietly, unable to hide the gnawing disappointment and sadness I felt from my face.

" I-I can't stay here. I thought I could handle it, but I was wrong ... 'M sorry, Jake, I have to go. It just hurts too fucking much, y'know ... ? " he muttered, a slight tint of colour staining his high cheekbones. He quickly averted his gaze in a vain attempt to hide the tears which were threatening to fall. He tried to slip past, heading for the back door but, to his dismay, found a large, immovable object in his path. Me.

" Please, Paul. Don't go ... " I pleaded huskily, resting my hand on his right bicep. Paul's skin felt smooth and warm beneath my palm. And he looked and felt so good. Physically, he was back to his old self and looked in great shape. The emaciated, waif-like body of three months ago was gone. Replaced by a ripped, toned, tough frame. Perfect in every way, shape or form. Mouthwateringly so. From the outside he appeared in peak, physical condition, but inside he was still broken and desperately in need of healing. And I was determined to be the one to help him on the road to recovery.

I closed the gap between us and steadily met his dark, anxious gaze. " Don't leave, please ... I'd like you to stay. I need you to stay, Paul. Even if it's just for a little while ... I just want a chance to make things better ... To make you happy. Please ... ? " My hand slowly roamed across his shoulder and I revelled in the feel of him, before gently tilting his chin up and forcing him to look at me. " That's all I'm asking for, Paul, let me help- "

" Why ? Why are you doing this, Jake ? " he rasped, wariness and confusion warring against each other within him.

" Because you're my imprint. Because _I_ want to. Because _you_ deserve to be happy ... " I replied quietly. I rested my forehead against his, closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. His scent was alluring. Exotic, spicily aromatic, yet it also reminded me of the ocean. Of long, hot summer nights and our bonfires on the beach. It was enticingly seductive. Pure temptation. " Because it's something I want to do and it's something you need ... Let me do this for you ... " I gently rubbed my nose against his and heard him gasp softly.  
I pulled back slightly and kept my eyes fixed on his gorgeous face. Confusion was a good look on him, I decided. It just made him look - and he'd kill me if he knew I thought this way about him - seriously cute. Adorably so. Who'd have thought it, the Pack's hard-ass was actually capable of looking so ... sweet. So innocent. That he _can_ be cute and so fucking hot at the same time. Shit ! I hope to God I never think that when I phase. I'd be in serious trouble. The Pack would never let me hear the end of it, unless Paul got wind of it first and killed me ...

And that's when it happened. We just stood there. Silently watching each other. Chest to hard, muscular chest. Bare, solid flesh just within touching distance. He looked totally bewildered and so damn gorgeous that he took my breath away. Mesmerized by his beauty, I cautiously raised my hand and lightly traced his jawline and cheek with my calloused fingertips. Paul's breath silently hitched, yet he didn't draw back. His eyes were dilated and burning with curiosity and the tip of his tongue darted nervously to moisten his perfect lips.  
My eyes hungrily followed his tongue and I began to imagine how those lips would feel against mine. How he'd taste. Then the craving to know got too much and before I could stop myself, I'd lowered my head towards his.

*******  
**

_Paul's pov:_

God ! This is killing me. I didn't want to be here ... I'd rather be anywhere but here. How the hell could Sam be so thoughtless ? So goddamn insensitive. _He_ knew what happened the last time I was here. That I was rejected. Left broken. Desolate and so lost. It was like being dumped in the wilderness. So alone and in a world of pain that I no longer knew where or who I was ...  
It drove me insane. Being rejected. I was consumed by madness and overwhelming pain. Driven to suicide. And it would've worked too, if _certain_ individuals hadn't felt the need to track me down and pry into my business. Then, out of the blue, everything changed. Jacob imprinted.  
Imprinted. _On me !_ I'm not sure which one of us was the most freaked out by it at the time ... What shocked me was Jacob's seemingly easy acceptance of the imprint. His willingness to embrace it. It was all the more confusing, considering how we'd never got on in the past. How we'd always argue and fight.

But since the imprint, we've been more or less in each other's pockets. I was still wary of him and unsure of his intentions yet despite that, I knew deep down that I could never reject him. _Never_ put him through what I'd suffered. I might be an arrogant, vicious bastard, but I'm _not_ that fucking cruel. Not _that _heartless ... At first, I was very reluctant to be around him, I feared that it was all just a goddamn joke, but he soon made me realize that he was deadly serious. That he wasn't joking or playing games.  
Jacob's easy charm and warm, friendly personality slowly began to win me over and against my better judgement, I started to find myself liking him. I began to enjoy his company. Somehow, I was able to relax with him. To be me. He soothed me. Calmed me down. And I liked the way he made me feel.

Like I said, I never thought Sam could be so goddamn clueless. Thankfully, it was a very short meeting, yet it felt like eternity. I hated being there. Back in the Black's house. I hadn't been there since Rachel had flown the coop. I couldn't bear the thought of being there and had successfully managed to avoid it ...until now.  
Everywhere and every thing I looked at reminded me of her. Of what I'd lost. Family photos where all over the place. And the throws and cushions on the couch were the ones she'd chosen. There were even books and magazines strewn about, which belonged to her. And it gave the impression that she could return at any minute.

I desperately wanted to leave. The place made me feel ill at ease and I was constantly aware of Jake's molten chocolate eyes gently watching me with grave concern. As soon as the Clearwaters left, I began to edge my way towards the door.

" Y-You're leaving ... ? " I turned at the sound of Jacob's quiet voice to look at him. The disappointment and sadness on his handsome profile puzzled me. And oddly, I hated being the cause of it.

" I-I can't stay here. I thought I could handle it, but I was wrong ... 'M sorry, Jake. I have to go. It just hurts too fucking much, y'know ... ? " I finally and reluctantly admitted, before abruptly averting my gaze to prevent him from seeing the tears that were threatening to fall. The mantra of " I have to go " which had been playing silently and repeatedly in my head now screamed loudly within me and I tried to slip past him to my goal. The back door. Only to suddenly find a massive, immovable object in my path. Jacob.

" Please, Paul. Don't go ... " he pleaded huskily. That was a first in itself. Jacob had _never _begged me in his life. For anything. He laid his hand upon my right bicep. It felt warm and unusually comforting. What baffled me though was the fact I didn't flinch at his touch. Didn't feel the need to pull away. Didn't want to rip his head clean off for actually daring to lay a hand on me. I found his touch reassuring. And safe.  
I wasn't the same person as I'd been three months ago. Physically, I was in great shape. I no longer looked like a famine victim or someone from a P.O.W. camp. My body - after weeks of nagging, cajoling, bullying and bribery from both Leah and Jacob - had returned to its former glory. Lean. Lithe. Strong. And full of power. But although I was healed on the outside, inside I was still broken. Still vulnerable and fragile. Still suffering and in so much torment.

Jacob inched cautiously towards me, closing the gap even more and continued to watch me steadily with his dark, gentle eyes. " Don't leave, please ... I'd like you to stay. I need you to stay, Paul. Even if it's just for a little while ... I just want a chance to make things better ... To make you happy. Please ... ? "

I felt his large, beautifully shaped hand move lightly across my shoulder before firmly, yet gently, tilting my chin upwards. Forcing me to meet his mild, steady gaze. His behaviour had wariness and confusion fighting each other within me.

" Why ? Why are you doing this, Jake ? "

" Because you're my imprint. Because_ I _want to. Because _you _deserve to be happy ... " he replied quietly then rested his forehead lightly against mine. I inhaled deeply. Shakily. His scent reminded me of better days. Happier days. He smelled like the forest. Of fresh pine needles, wild flowers and fragrant herbs. Of summer rain. It was comforting. Safe. And it reminded me of home. Of being loved. _Really_ loved ... It was a scent that mesmerized me and one I _never_ wanted to lose or forget ... " Because it's something I want to do and it's something you need ... Let me do this for you ... " He then gently rubbed his nose against mine and I gasped softly. The gesture was pure wolf. The beast's way of showing comfort and affection.

Jacob pulled back slightly to look at me. By now, I was totally confused by his strange behaviour. And he looked absolutely dazed. Like he'd somehow been hypnotized. I felt as if I was under a microscope and that he was committing each and every one of my features to memory.

It was like time had stood still. We just stood there. Silently watching each other. Jacob towering over me. His stance non-threatening, yet protective. We were standing so close, with only a hair's breadth between us. His powerful, broad, naked chest just within touching distance of my bare skin. I was rooted to the spot. Frozen. I could only watch him curiously and uneasily. It was kinda weird. Yet not uncomfortable. I felt his calloused fingertips lightly trace a path across my jawline and cheek and my breath silently hitched. I didn't pull away and Jake continued to watch me with a mesmerized look on his face and I was all too aware of his hungry gaze avidly following my tongue as it moistened my dry lips.  
Suddenly, he gave a low groan and began to lower his head towards mine.

" Just gimme a chance, Paul. Please ... ? Let me in, " he rasped throatily, his hand cradling my neck gently, in a hold I couldn't break. Even if I wanted to. " I know I can make you happy ... _if _you'll let me ... "  
Then all I could remember was the genuine warmth and glowing honesty in his eyes and the feel of his fingertips absently caressing my nape before his lips finally claimed mine. I froze.

It was a kiss unlike any other I'd ever experienced. Light. Playful. Teasing. Tender. With an underlying hunger and heated passion kept firmly reined in. It was pure Jacob.  
At first, I didn't respond. I couldn't. A little voice at the back of my mind kept screaming that this was all wrong. That it couldn't happen. No man had ever touched me before in such a way. I'd never been interested in guys and my reputation as a skirt-chaser had been unrivalled. Until Rachel came along.  
So why the hell did it feel so right to be held like this in her baby brother's arms ? To have his soft, talented lips skilfully kiss mine ? To have him successfully coax a response from me with his playful caresses ? I felt Jake lightly and persuasively lick the seam of my lips, wearing down my defences. My lips parted of their own violition with a soft, hungry moan. I finally relented and allowed him access to what he'd been seeking.

He quickly took advantage of the situation - before I came to my senses - and swiftly plundered my mouth with a drugging, mesmerizingly passionate kiss.  
I hardly dared believe what was happening. Where the hell had Jacob learnt to kiss like this ? To be so skilled ? I slumped against him and clung weakly to his broad powerful shoulders as his overwhelmingly addictive kiss drained me of all of my strength.  
The kiss, if it were at all possible, deepened. Intensified. It became heated, passionate and all-consuming. Jacob's mouth plundered mine, his moist tongue roamed freely, laying claim to mine. It dominated me. Entwining itself possessively and sensually massaging mine. Unconsciously, I moved closer, pressing my flushed torso against his and mewled - yes, _me _... Paul Meraz, actually mewled - softly with desperate need.

As his hand came to rest on my flank and massaged my heated flesh, I began to feel something I never expected to experience again. Pure euphoric pleasure. For weeks I'd felt nothing but cold. Emptiness. Numbness. And now ? Now, Jacob's touch had ignited something within me once more. His fiery passion and gentle, possessive caresses had my body coming alive. Rapture coursed through my veins like wildfire and I began to burn fiercely for _him. _I was on fire with need and want. And Jacob was the cause of it all ...  
I suddenly found my back pressed against the living room wall. Jacob's impressive frame covered mine. His hands wandering with abandon over my trembling, affection-starved body. I moaned in protest as he finally broke the kiss, only to sigh in relief as his lips began to painstakingly kiss and nuzzle every inch of my throat and I willingly threw my head back to give him easier access. His hands had come to rest on my denim clad ass. He pulled me closer to him and lazily ground his hips against mine, until I was all too aware of his very prominent, rock-hard erection that pressed insistently against my lower abdomen.

Somehow, my hands had wound up tangled in his cropped, spiky, jet black hair, savouring its clean, silky texture. By now, I couldn't think straight, I was panting heavily and my chest rose and fell unevenly. I slowly closed my eyes and tentatively licked my bruised, kiss-swollen lips. Fuck knows what Jacob had just done to me. All that I knew was that it _felt_ good. It made _me _feel good once more and I hadn't felt this way for a long time.

Barely recognizing my own voice, which was now thick and hoarse with need, I whispered, " Don't, Jake ... _Don't _... Stop ... " He froze abruptly at the sound of my voice, his taut body tensing and quivering with need which matched my own. I tentatively ran my fingers lightly down his spine, then drew them back up causing goose bumps to form where I'd touched him. He began to relax as I slowly dragged my right hand down his well-defined abs, before idly tracing the shadowed "v" of his pelvis with my index finger. I felt his lips curve into a slight smile against my neck. " Please, Jake ... Make me forget _her _... Damn it ! I need _you_ ... Help me feel once again ... "

**T. B. C.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary: **What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer:** All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N: **The Demon Spawn never happened. _EVER._ I'm in complete denial ... In my crazy AU she simply doesn't exist.

**Warning:** _contains slash and strong language.  
_

**  
***********

**Broken**

_Paul's pov:  
_  
It's kinda weird, but I didn't feel tired anymore. I hadn't slept so well since Christ only knew. I just felt boneless. So relaxed. And in a good way. A _really_ good way ...

I stretched drowsily and unexpectedly came into contact with something large, hard and extremely warm.

" What the fu- ? " My eyes suddenly flew open and I slowly turned my head. There, sleeping soundly beside me was Jacob. A _very _naked Jacob Black.  
As I slowly became aware of my surroundings, realization sank in. I wasn't at home. Wasn't in my bedroom. And this definitely _wasn't_ my fucking bed. The room reeked of sex. The scent of pure carnal pleasure still hung heavily in the air. I did what any sane person would do under the circumstances. I began to quietly freak out. As I panicked, all I could think of was that I had to escape. Leave. _Before_ Jacob woke up ...

Suddenly, memories of the previous night came flooding back. Vague recollections of how I'd begged him ... Pleaded with him to make me forget. To help me feel ...  
I groaned silently and closed my eyes and for the first time in years, felt sick with shame and self-loathing. I'd _never _be able to look Jacob in the eye again. I'd done something I'd vowed I'd never do. I'd used him. Abused his trust. And taken advantage of him, knowing he'd never be able to deny the imprint. That he'd never be able to refuse me ...  
I was going to end up hurting him, just because I was fucked up and damaged inside. In a way, I was no better than Rachel. Hell ! The way I'd treated him, was far worse than what she'd done to me ...

Carefully, I began to inch away across the mattress in a desperate hope to get away. But my bid was freedom was foiled and my prayers for escape went unanswered. Without warning, I felt a warm, sinewy forearm drape itself possessively around my waist and Jacob's imposing body spoon my slighter frame. He drew me closer. His broad chest rested flush against my back. Then, as I felt his thick, muscular thighs press against the back of mine, I became all too aware of his arousal brushing intimately against the cleft of my ass. It felt hot and heavy. Hard like granite. Tempered steel cloaked by pure, smooth silk.  
Suddenly, I forgot to breathe and my heart began to pound frantically as I remembered the feel of that long, thick member pounding me into the mattress. How Jacob had relentlessly and unerringly struck the sensitive bundle of nerves within me with every single thrust. How he'd succeeded in wringing every emotion out of me as he did so. How I'd clung shamelessly and frantically to him, begging him for release. My desperate pleas for him to thrust harder. Faster. More. Not to stop. Never stop. To make me cum 'til I either blacked out or forgot everything and everyone. I'd cried his name until I was hoarse. Until I was unable to speak. I remember my fingernails raking deeply into his back, drawing blood and that I'd sunk my teeth into his shoulder as I came violently - more than once - liberally covering both our bellies and chests with my seed. Then finally collapsing, spent and sated. Falling into a deep and dreamless sleep in the security and sanctuary of his warm, protective embrace.

And for one blissful night, my pleas had been listened to ... Jacob had succeeded where I'd failed. He'd made me forget her ... and he'd made me feel. His sister's rejection had left me dead inside. Yet in his arms, in his bed, I came alive ... I returned to life ... He brought me back to life ... Resurrected me ...  
But now, in the cold light of day, unease and doubts began to invade my thoughts, freezing all the warmth and passion I'd gained the night before. What I'd craved and longed for and never believed I'd experience again. With the faint glow of daylight came harsh reality and with it ... fear. Fear that I'd fucked up. Again. Fucked up the best relationship I ever had, with someone I'd started to see as a good friend. Someone I was actually beginning to care for. A lot. And now, inevitably, I would lose him. Like I always lost everything that mattered to me. I'd screwed up, because I was weak. Selfish. And lonely. Because I'd felt cold and empty. I hadn't given a single thought how my selfishness would affect Jacob. I'd used him. Put my needs ahead of his own and thought only of number one. That my actions had been so unwittingly cruel ...

Suddenly feeling inexplicably cold, I shivered. Full of shame, I hated myself for what I'd done to him. This fucking mess was all my fault. Jacob was blameless. _He_ had no control over what happened, because of the imprint. It had blinded him and left him with no choice except to follow my wishes. And that only added further fuel to the raging guilt that burned within me.

" Mmm, Paul ... " I heard Jacob murmur drowsily and my body tensed as his lips brushed my shoulder. His large hand came to rest on my chest, its warm palm covering and idly brushing my left nipple. My breath hitched and my gut immediately clenched at his touch. All it took was Jacob's half-conscious actions to have my traitorous body hardening with intense need, and I bit down hard on my lower lip to prevent any lustful moans from escaping.  
My head was telling me to break away. To break free from him. To run. Run hard and fast, if I wanted to hang on to what little sanity I still had. But my body had other ideas. It screamed in protest at the thought of being torn away from the warm haven that enveloped it. And just to prove how much it objected, I found myself, instead of pulling away, sinking into his embrace. All traces of physical tension easing away as my body relaxed. Became pliant. Melting, trustingly, against his long, lean, powerful physique.

Jacob must have sensed my resistance ebb away, because his hand began to slowly drift from my chest. It lightly grazed a downward path over my abs, towards the furry pelt that led to where I ached for his touch the most. His light, gentle caresses soon changed once his hand reached its desired destination. Stifling a gasp, I closed my eyes as I felt the pressure of the heel of his hand increase as it came into contact with my painfully hard flesh. Then whatever rational thoughts I had, or words of protest on my lips, suddenly died when those long, calloused, talented fingers curled with a gentle possessiveness around my aching shaft. Any common sense I had or self-preservation deserted me. Leaving me helpless. Needy and full of want.  
Jacob draped himself around me, his hand gently tugging my erection a few times, before hunger and desire took over. The pressure of his hand increased. It intensfied. All of my senses became heightened and I couldn't prevent the low, husky moans of pleasure from escaping my lips. Or begin to stop my hips from thrusting eagerly and repeatedly into his hand. Despite a dim and distant feeling of how wrong all this truly was ... being here ... with Jacob ... in his bed ... somehow, in a strange and warped way, felt right. So fucking right.  
Then I felt his other hand slowly inch its way from my waist, across my torso towards my neck, leaving a trail of fire in its wake, that had my body burning with need. His fingers crept along my jawline until they reached my chin, taking it in a light, yet firm hold, forcing me to meet his heated gaze. The ball of his thumb lightly grazed my lower lip and I gasped softly.

" Please, Paul ... " he rasped huskily, his molten chocolate eyes fixed intently on my face, flickering briefly to my lips, then returning to steadily meet my eyes. Suddenly, Jacob's lips captured mine. At first, his kisses were soft and tender. Intent on coaxing a response. They gradually became more insistent. Forceful. Full of hunger and growing passion. He nipped and tugged at my lower lip, demanding entrance. I heard someone whimper, then realized it was me. My lips parted for air and Jacob quickly drove his tongue into my mouth, winding it sinuously around mine. It was the most addictive, sensuous, mindblowing kiss I'd ever experienced and it blazed like wildfire, heading uncontrollably towards my throbbing, tumescent shaft. Jacob continued to leisurely stroke it from root to leaking tip and I writhed in pleasure. The feel of his hand's rough skin on the most sensitive part of my body was driving me crazy. And the intense need for release was overwhelming. As was the increasing need for air.

My chest rose and fell agitatedly and I was panting shallowly when Jacob broke the kiss, only for his lips to brush, nibble and nuzzle my jawline and throat. My body arched sharply and my hand flew to grasp his thick, sinewy thigh for support.

" See, you need this. We _both_ do, Paul, " he stated, his voice thick with need. " Let it go, babe ... Cum for me ... Let me make you happy. Let me be the one to- "

I suddenly froze. His words instantly coolled my ardour. Reality set in and I became aware once more that this was so fucking wrong. That _I _was wrong. That I _was_ using him. That what we were doing was destined to bring Jacob nothing but a world of grief and devastating pain. I couldn't do it to him. He deserved more. He deserved someone far better than the broken, bitterly vindictive bastard he'd imprinted upon. Jacob had become far too important to me for that to happen. I _had_ to be cruel to be kind ... for his sake.

I struggled and managed to break free of his hold. Before he realized what was going on, I was out of the bed and by the door. Naked and still painfully aroused.

" I'm sorry, Jake, but I can't ... I can't do thi- " I began, trying not to look at the stunned confusion and hurt on his handsome face. I knew if I did, my resolve would weaken. That I would weaken once more ...

" But Paul ... We could be so good together. Just gimme a chance. Damn it ! I beg of yo- " he pleaded huskily, his eyes bewildered and glistening with unshed tears. He raised his hand and ran it through his cropped, dark hair, ruffling it into spikes. It was a trait of his which always revealed his anxieties or frustration. And I hated myself for what I was about to say to him next.

" No ! What part of 'no' don't you fucking get, Jake ? Huh ? This should _never_ have happened. It was a mistake. Ok ? One great big fucking mistake ! We both fucked up and I'm not going to let it happen again. _Ever !_ I don't want this._ I don't want you._ D'ya hear me ? " I spat coldly, dying on the inside with every cruel, malicious, lying word that I said and I felt genuinely sick as I saw Jake flinch at each and every one of them. " From now on, Jacob, unless it's to do with the Pack, just stay the hell away from me ..._ All _I need from you is to be my Pack brother. Nothing more ... "

And before he could respond, I swiftly walked away without a backward glance. Racked with guilt, knowing I'd just left the one person who cared for me, crushed and forlorn. Not knowing or understanding what the hell had just happened. Only that I'd truly, genuinely hurt him.

Yup, Meraz the unfeeling, vicious bastard was back. So, why the hell did I feel like shit ? Why was I so goddamn hurt and confused by what I'd just done ?

**T. B. C.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary: **What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer: **All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N:** The Demon Spawn never happened. _EVER ! _I'm in complete denial ... In my crazy AU she simply doesn't exist.

**Warning:** _contains slash and strong language._

*************

**Broken**

_Jacob's pov:  
_  
My bedroom door burst open violently and a fuming Leah Clearwater stood there. Glaring at me.

" Jacob Black ! What the fuck did _you_ just do to my mom that's got her so upset ? " she demanded furiously, hands on hips and her lean, athletic frame rigid with tension.

I didn't reply, just curled myself into a ball on top of my bed and closed my eyes, so that she wouldn't see how upset I was. That she wouldn't notice how close I was to crying. That I was nursing a broken heart. One of my imprint's making.

" Jake ! I'm waiting ... What the hell did you do ? My mom's so upset that she's crying. _Crying !_ She doesn't cry ... She hasn't cried since she lost dad. So, come on, jerk ... Spill ! "

Her words immediately made me feel so guilty. I felt like shit. Sue Clearwater was the closest I had to a mother and I loved her dearly. She was one of the kindest, most generous people I knew and had been there for me and dad when we needed someone the most.  
I'd acted like a jerk earlier on. Been totally disrespectful and acted unreasonably. Sue'd only been trying to help us with the laundry, a job I hated doing, if I'm being totally honest. She knew nothing of my imprint and I'd got home from school only to find she'd stripped and changed my bed. Not thinking rationally, I flipped. Not bad enough to phase, but almost ...

It had been just over three weeks since Paul had walked out on me. Left me devastated after what should have been the happiest time of my life. The night we'd slept together and he'd allowed - no, begged - me to help him forget. To try and numb his pain & make him feel once more. And I had, because he was my imprint and I was in love with him. I'd loved him. Helped him forget and made him feel. And it had been good. So good ... Fuck it ! It had been more than that. It had been amazing. Absolutely fucking mindblowingly, breathtakingly awesome ...  
It had been passionate. Intense. Tender. I'd always thought out of the pair of us, he, being the eldest, would have been the most experienced. The dominant one. But no ... he'd allowed me to take him._ Wanted_ me to. Demanded it of me. What had surprized me was the fact that he'd _never_ been with another man. That I'd been _his_ first ...  
Maybe I'd been naive to think that he'd accept this development between us so easily, but hell ... I'd _always_ been an optimist. Like I said, Paul was my imprint and I loved him. Adored him. Wanted him. Craved him ... and needed him. And for the short time he'd willingly lain in my bed, in my arms, I'd been so inexplicably happy. Deliriously so. Paul had been everything I'd ever wanted. And then some... Then, unwittingly, I'd put my foot in it. Said something that changed him. The warm, caring and sweet Paul - yeah, Paul _can_ be sweet, despite what everyone thinks about him - suddenly froze and became a cold, unfeeling, hard bastard. All because I said something that upset him. And to this day, I've no idea what I said or did that was so wrong.

All I do know, is that I _still_ love and want him ... that I miss him terribly and desperately want him back ...

" J-Just go away, Leah ... Leave me alone ... " I muttered defeatedly, curling myself around a pillow. I heard her sigh heavily, then I felt the mattress dip as she sat down beside me.

" Come on, Jake, spit it out. What's wrong ? It's not like you to have a go at mom- "

" It's nothing, Leah, I swea- "

" Bullshit, Jake ... Something's going on with you and _you're_ going to tell me. You've not been yourself over the past few weeks. In fact, you've been worse than a pitbull chewing on a wasp's nest. Talk to me kiddo, maybe I can help - _if_ you'll let me ... " She gently laid a hand on my shoulder. Her touch was comforting. Reassuring.

" Honestly, Lee ... it's nothing. I'll be ok. I just need time to figure out what I'm gonna do, 's all ... " I slowly sat up to face her. Leah took one look at my distressed face and her dark eyes and face softened in sympathy.

" Oh, Jakey ... What the fuck am I gonna do with you, huh ? Come here ... " she held out her arms and I slumped into her embrace and savagely rubbed the tears away from my eyes with my right hand. " What happened, pup ? "

" It's Paul ... H-He doesn't want me, Lee ... Not the way I want him. I-I thought things were going great between us, y'know ? Hell ! We even slept together and it was so good. Shit ! It was perfect, Lee ... Like we were meant for each other. It just felt so right and he made me feel complete ... Th-Then the next morning h-he told me it was all a big fucking mistake ... th-that it meant nothing ... Th-That he only sees me as his Pack brother ... I don't understand ... _Why_ doesn't he want me ? I love him, for fuck's sake ! He's everything to me. Paul's my world. What did _I_ do wrong ? Why is it so wrong for me to love him and just want to make him happy, huh ? He deserves to be happy after what _she_ did to him. Why can't he let me be the one ... ? Am I not good enough for him ... ? " I nestled against Leah, my head resting on her shoulder. I felt her run her long, slim fingers through my cropped, spiky hair. " Damn it, Lee ... _Why_ does it have to fucking hurt so bad ... ? "

Leah sighed gently, then lightly brushed her lips across my forehead. " I honestly don't know, kiddo. Maybe I'm not the best person to ask for advice on love. You know what my track record's been like where love's concerned. It's been totally shit. Maybe Ros would be the best one to ask. After all, she's been with Emm for well over eighty years by now. She knows what it's like to be in love and to be loved ... All I can tell you, Jake, is that if you love Paul, then you should hang on in there and fight for him. Prove to him beyond a doubt that you're genuine. That you truly love him. That you'll _always_ be there for him ... No matter what. Just don't give up on him. Paul's just confused right now. He's had a rough couple of months. An imprint's rejection can be soul-destroying. Just be thankful that he hasn't rejected you completely ... At least he's given you some hope that he _could_ come around ... And that's far more than your sister gave him. "

I wrapped my arm around Leah's waist and thought about what she'd said. That's what I liked about her. If you actually bothered to take the time to listen to her, ninety nine percent of the time what she said made a lot of sense. Leah never minced her words and sugar-coated things. She believed in being straight with people and _always_ shot from the hip. And despite what Sam and the rest of the Pack thought, I valued and trusted her judgement.

" Thanks, Lee, " I murmured, feeling slightly less disheartened than before she'd barged into my room.

" Hell, what for, pup ? "

" For listening. For making me see sense. For being there, I guess. I know I don't say it, but I do love you, Lee. You've been more of a sister to me than Rachel or Rebecca have ever been. You're my best friend and I'd be totally lost without you ... "

Leah groaned. " Oh, fuck it, Black ! If you're gonna go all mushy on me, I'll _have_ to kick your hairy ass and I'm far too relaxed right now to even think about moving ... "

I managed a faint grin. " I know. Why d'ya think I risked saying it ? "

" Look, dumbass, " she growled softly, yet there was a wicked gleam in her beautiful eyes, " just 'cos I ain't gonna, doesn't mean you're off the hook. Got it ? Besides, you _still_ haven't told me why you nearly tore a strip off my mom ... "

I shifted uncomfortably. That was something I'd hoped she'd forgotten about. I really should have known better. Leah was definitely no fool.

" I ... uh ... I ..."

" Cat got your tongue, Jake ? 'Fess up. What happened ? "

" I lost it with your mom, 'cos she washed my sheets. Ok ? " I mumbled hurriedly, then cowered as I waited for the inevitable fallout from hurricane Leah. It never came. To my astonishment, I felt her body begin to shake and I started to pray that she wasn't going to phase. The next thing I heard was Leah laughing. Genuinely laughing. Until tears of mirth rolled down her cheeks.

" You mean to say _you_ chewed my mom out for doing _your_ laundry ? Jeez, Jake, that's hysterical ! "

" It's not funny, Leah, " I growled, stiffening. I raised my head to look at her. It was a sight for sore eyes. One I hadn't seen in years. These days Leah rarely smiled, never mind laughed. So, seeing her now, reminded me of the old Leah. The fun-loving, carefree one. The girl who'd been a joy to be around. Before Sam imprinted on her cousin and left her. Seeing Leah laugh once more, from the heart, was a truly beautiful sight.

" Yes, it is. I just wish you'd tell me why mom doing your laundry got you so worked up ... "

" It was all I had left of _that_ night, Leah ... " I confessed softly. " All I had to remind me of _him._ Of what _we'd_ shared. Paul's scent on my sheets . Now it's gone, Leah. For good ... And I miss it. I fucking miss him ... So much ... "

" Aah ... " Leah watched me sadly. Her lovely face was full of sympathy. " Well, the way I figure it is you're gonna need help, Jake- "

" Help ? What for ? " Puzzled, I met her gaze steadily. The determined expression she wore immediately aroused my curiosity.

" What for, he asks ? Talk about being clueless ... Fuck ! To win back _your_ boy, you moron. What the hell, did you think I meant ? Paul's not going to know what's hit him. " Leah gave a wolfish grin that was full of mischievous intent. " Let 'Operation Wolftrap' commence ... "

**T. B. C.  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary:** What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer: **All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N: **The Demon Spawn never happened. _EVER ! _I'm in complete denial ... In my crazy AU she simply doesn't exist.

**Warning: **_contains slash and strong language._

***********  
**

**Broken**

_Paul's pov:  
_  
God ! I've really gone and screwed things up this time ... Never thought I'd see the day when I'd finally end up confessing that I miss Jacob Black. _Really_ miss him ...  
It's been a month since we slept together. Four long weeks. Thirty one long fucking days ... or seven hundred and forty four goddamn, shitty hours, since I seriously fucked up and told him that I regretted sleeping with him. That I'd lied to him and told him it had been one big fucking mistake. That I only saw him as my Pack brother ... And worst of all ... ? The biggest lie of all, which I deeply regret with every fibre of my being ... ? That I _didn't _want him ... As soon as I'd said that, I wish I could've taken the words back. That I hadn't been such a cold, vicious, cruel bastard. That I hadn't hurt him so badly ... Given half the chance, _I'd_ do anything to take that back and not to have seen the hurt look on his face or the intense pain in his soft, dark eyes.

For once, my intentions had been good. I'd meant to avoid causing him any pain, but the way I'd gone about it had been all wrong and I'd ended up hurting him more than I ever thought possible. Not only that, I hadn't just lied and hurt Jake - someone I cared for deeply - but I'd also lied to myself. I'd wanted him desperately and that want ... that need ... the desire I felt for him hadn't died. Hadn't gone. It was _still_ there. Eating away at me. Like cancer ...  
_I _still wanted him. _Still_ desired him. Hungered for _him._ Somehow, Jacob Black _had_ gotten under my skin. Had burrowed deep beneath it. And succeeded in finding a way into my frozen, unfeeling heart. He'd made me feel once more. Made me care ... And I'd treated him like crap. I'd done what I'd always done ... I'd fucked up big time and lost the one person who'd meant anything to me. Since the imprint, Jacob had become my world, my everything, and somehow, I'd ended up falling for him.

Jeez, I swear I hadn't meant to ... It just happened. I couldn't help it. Ever since that night, Jake's been in my head ... on my mind, twenty-four-seven. I just can't stop thinking about him. He's constantly in my thoughts. In my dreams. And now, my fantasies ...  
If I close my eyes, even for an instant, I can still feel his long, hard, muscular body pressed against mine. The heat of him. His power, strength, vitality and gentleness. The feel of his talented lips nuzzling my throat. His hands roaming freely over my sensitive skin. I can see him above me, his head thrown back in the throes of passion and genuine love shining in his sultry, chocolate gaze which is fixed intently on my face. Hear his voice, husky with need and rough with passion. I can even taste the musky tang of perspiration on his chest and catch the faint aroma of summer rain and fresh pine on his russet skin.

I hate myself for what I've done to him. The way I've treated him. Jake _never_ deserved that. All he wanted was to help. I can see that now. He only wanted to make me happy. A chance for us to be together. But, oh no ... I, Paul "Mr-Know-It-All" Meraz thought I knew best and blew it. Not only did I lose someone I care about - someone I love - but I've lost my _only_ hope for happiness. A chance to become whole once more ...

*********

I don't get it ... This is the third dumb meeting Sam's called this week and it's the third time Jake's ignored me. Completely. It's like he's refusing to acknowledge me at all. As far as he's concerned, I don't exist ... I'm nothing to him. And that can't be right. He _shouldn't _be able to ignore me. _He's_ bound to me, whether he likes it or not. _I'm _his fucking imprint, for fuck's sake ...

He refuses to look at me. Won't even talk to me. Keeps his distance. If he sees me on the Res, he avoids me completely and heads off in the opposite direction at a breathtaking turn of speed. And it hurts. Hurts so fucking bad that someone I genuinely care for, treats me like a fucking leper ...  
What kills me is since the imprint we'd gotten very close. He'd gained my trust and that's something I rarely give freely to anyone. But he won me over with his caring and fun-loving nature and I loved being in his company. He made me feel good about myself. I was more relaxed and in control of my fiery temper in his presence. And that's partly why I'm so hacked off with myself. Because of my lie, I'm alone ... and hurting. I thought the pain was bad when _she_ rejected me, but fuck ... It's nothing compared to what I'm going through now. I feel like I'm slowly dying on the inside ... and I've no one to blame but myself.

He used to come over to my house on a daily basis, but now he hangs out a lot with the Clearwaters or Quil and Embry. And I miss his presence. The place seems so quiet without him. So empty and cold.  
Leah's naturally distanced herself from me, out of loyalty to Jake. She's always cared deeply for him and has been more of a sister to him than either of his own siblings. Seth, meanwhile, surprizingly, still remains friendly and sympathetic. He carries a wise old head on his young shoulders and absolutely refuses to take any sides. As for the rest of the Pack ? They continue to act the way they always have towards me and for that, I'm thankful.

As soon as Sam's stopped his incessant rambling and called this meeting to an end, I'm going to tackle Jake. This can't go on. We _have_ to talk and try and sort this fucking mess out - even though it's one of my own making. We need to start again. Bury the hatchet ... although I wouldn't blame Jake if _he _wanted to bury that same hatchet in the back of my thick, stupid skull. It's the least I deserve.  
Now all I have to do, is wait - and try not to fall asleep - for Sam to stop whittering on and then corner Jake before he tries to slink off home. I've a nasty feeling that this won't be easy ...

*******  
**

" Uh ... Jake ? Can we, uh, talk ? ... Please ? "

He was about to leave the beach with Leah and Seth, when I caught up with him. The three of them froze at the sound of my voice, then the Clearwater siblings slowly turned to face me. Leah moved to stand defensively in front of Jacob, reminding me of a lioness protecting her sole cub. She eyed me with wary suspicion. Seth, meanwhile, hung back at Jacob's side, his warm gaze friendly, yet somehow sad. Jacob was motionless. I could see the increasing tension in his broad shoulders and was only too painfully aware of his stubborn reluctance to turn and look at me.

" Please ... ? I need to speak with you ... _Alone,_ Jake ... " By now, I was starting to feel desperate. I _needed_ to be alone with him and wasn't above pleading with him, if it gave us time to talk in private. This was virtually unheard of. A rarity. Paul Meraz _actually _begging. Pleading for something ...

" _Why,_ Paul ? " he growled softly, its tone hostile to say the least as he slowly turned to face me. His normally warm eyes were icy, distant and unfeeling. " Give me one good reason why the hell should _I _waste _my_ time ? What the fuck do _you_ have to say that _I'd_ be remotely interested in, huh ? Because right now, for the life of me, I _can't_ think of anything ... "

I rubbed my nape agitatedly. I felt frustrated by his apathy towards me, by his clear attempt to thwart my need to apologize and make things up to him. His lack of interest, his indifference, began to eat away at my tenuous self-control until it finally snapped.

" Because _I'm_ sorry ... Ok ? I'm so fucking sorry ... " I yelled angrily, my fists at my sides, clenching and unclenching restlessly. " I _never_ meant anything I said, I swear ... On my life, I didn't _mean_ to hurt you. Never meant or wanted to do that. I lied to you. I did what I always do ... I fucked up. Ok ? Seriously fucked up. I _always_ end up screwing things up. Anything good. That's how I am ... What I am ... What I do ... I'm a fucking mess, Jacob ... _Always_ have been. Always _will _be ... " My voice and anger faded away as I realized I had lost him and I whispered hoarsely, " I just wanted you to know I'm genuinely sorry. For being such a bastard. That I'm truly sorry for everything I did ... That I regret hurting you more than anything I've ever done. I don't expect you to forgive me, I don't deserve that ... I, uh, I just wanted you to know how I feel, 's all ... "

I suddenly turned on my heel to walk away, almost stumbling as I did so, my usual grace and agility having deserted me. As I did so, I failed to see Seth exchange a look with Jacob and give his forearm a reassuring squeeze.

" Paul ... _Wait !_ " I froze, my body tensing as I heard him speak. " You're right ... This can't go on. We really do _need_ to talk ... " I slowly turned to look at him. He paused to talk with Leah and Seth, the tone of his voice distinctly warmer. More affectionate. " You go, guys ... I'll catch up with you later. Promise ... "

Leah looked as if she were about to protest, then suddenly reached across and hugged him tightly. " Make damn sure that you do, Pup ... or there'll be hell to pay. Ok ? " He gave a slight nod, then exchanged a sheepish grin with her brother. Seth bounded past me and gave me one of his shy smiles, before yelling at his sister to hurry up.

The elder Clearwater seemed to be in no hurry to leave and sauntered leisurely towards me. She paused and gave me a look that made me feel like a bug under a microscope before sighing heavily.

" 'Bout time you _finally _saw sense, Meraz, " she said softly. " That you realized that you _do_ care for him. Took you long enough ... Just so that you know, if you _ever_ hurt him again, I'll personally rip off your fucking balls and force-feed them down your throat ... and that's _before_ I make your life a living hell. Got that ? " I could only nod. Going by the steely glint in her eyes, there was no denying that Leah meant every word she'd said. She smiled sweetly. " Good. Glad we got that cleared up ... I'd really hate to hurt you, Paul, 'cos apart from my family, Billy and Jake, you're the only other person on this fucking Res that I actually really like. _I'd_ miss you if you were gone ... "

And with that final remark, she sprinted gracefully across the dunes to join her brother. Leaving me. Confused. Wary. And full of trepidation as I realized I was finally alone ... with Jacob.

**  
T. B. C.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary:** What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer:** All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N: **The Demon Spawn never happened. _EVER !_ I'm in complete denial ... In my crazy AU she simply doesn't exist.

**A/N:** I know ... I've done a Sam here with this chapter. I've re-hashed old ground. To be honest, Jake didn't give me much choice and insisted that I put his pov across before I dared to write anything about their "talk." So, if this does appear like I'm stalling, please take it up with one Jacob Black, c/o the Res. The fault clearly lies at_ his_ door ... and I refuse point-blank to take any blame for it !

**Warning:** _contains slash and strong language.  
_

***********  
**

**Broken  
**

_Jake's pov:_

When Leah first told me of "plan A" of _Operation Wolftrap, _you could say I had reservations. That I was pretty reluctant to go through with it. But Leah soon wore me down in her own indomitable fashion.  
What really annoyed me though, was the fact that what she suggested actually made sense in its own twisted way. The funny thing is, no matter how weird or off-the-wall her plans or ideas sound on first hearing, it tends to freak me out the way they _always_ seem to work out the way she foresees them. And that's why I always find myself going along with and backing her whenever the rest of the Pack try to shoot her plans down in flames.

Never let it be said that Leah Clearwater isn't smart. Ok, she may be slightly crazy, a little bit wild ... after all, which Pack member isn't, in their own way ? But she's an extremely intelligent girl. Wise beyond her years and has insight that's as sharp as a knife. She doesn't suffer fools gladly and it never fails to surprize me why she tolerates me, as I'm one of the biggest fools around. Yet, somehow, she makes an exception for me. She's always been there to take care of and love me. Supported, defended and protected me. And I love her dearly. I trust Leah implicitly as she does me. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her to ensure her safety and happiness and for her, the feeling is mutual.

And that's how I found myself submitting and agreeing to "plan A."

**FLASHBACK** ( four weeks earlier ):

" Trust me, Jake ... I _know_ what I'm doing. It'll work, I swear ... " Leah stated with a calmness that I didn't feel. I just chewed my lower lip and looked at her sceptically. " Look, Pup ... Have I ever lied to you ? Or let you down ? "

I shook my head slowly. Those were two things you could count on where Leah was concerned, her brutal honesty and unswerving loyalty.

" Well, there you go then ... I ain't gonna to start lying now, Jakey. Or stop watching your back. Ok ? So, quit panicking. Let _me_ do the worrying and the planning. All _you_ have to do, is do as I say. The plan's virtually idiot-proof - even if it does involve you two morons ! " She laid her slim, elegant hands lightly on my shoulders and rested her forehead against mine. " I'm not going to lie to you and say this will be easy. It won't be. Paul's a stubborn bastard. A real tough nut to crack. But you know me, I love a challenge and this is one I mean to win ... "

I sighed heavily, " I know, Lee, that you mean well and I appreciate your help, but ... But ignoring an imprint ? Avoiding the one person that I'm bound to ? Fuck ! He walked out on me ... Left me, Leah ... and it's driving me crazy. I _have_ to have some sort of contact with him. I fucking _need_ it. _I need him _... Not seeing him or hearing him really hurts, y'know ? "

She smiled sadly at me and said softly, " I know, Pup ... when it comes to losing the one you love, you're preaching to the choir ... There's no way in hell I'm letting you go through what I did, Jake ... If there's any way at all I can save you from that, I'm fucking taking it. Y'hear me ? Besides, this Res ain't big enough to hold two imprint rejects and I was here first ! If you want him back, you have to fight for him and if that means fighting dirty, then so be it ... That's what you do. If it means ignoring him point-blank in order to gain his interest - you do it ! If it means avoiding him at all costs ... Flirting with other people ... Tormenting and teasing him to show him what he had and what he stupidly threw away ... Then that's what you do. Sometimes, Pup, it's like Ros says, you just have to think like a woman to win your man ... You have to show him what he's missing ... "

**END OF FLASHBACK  
**  
And that's what I did. Followed Leah's orders to the letter. In the vain hope that she was right. That Paul _would_ realize and see what he was missing. That he did miss and care for me far more than he ever knew possible ...

And the infuriating thing about it all ? That Leah, goddamn her, was right - _again !_ It's uncanny, the way she always gets these things right when it comes to other people. But it breaks my heart that she's unable to find happiness of her own. And that's so fucking unfair. If anyone ever deserves to be happy, it's Leah ... and I just hate the way that life and people keep shafting her. That her feelings keep getting trampled on or ignored. As if she doesn't matter ... That seriously pisses me off.

So, for the past four weeks, I've been struggling desperately to ignore my imprint. I've deliberately kept my distance. Haven't been phasing as often as I should, so that he can't read my thoughts and I've even asked for patrol duties with other Pack members, so that I don't have to be with him. I've avoided any eye contact with Paul. And kept silent. Whenever I see him, I pretend to myself that he's not there, or I take off in the opposite direction so that I don't have to deal with him. And it hurts. Really fucking hurts. The lack of contact is agonizing ... I've never felt anything like it.  
Leah warned me that it wouldn't be painless ... that I'd have to be strong ... But, fuck ! I never expected or experienced anything like this. No wonder my sister's rejection messed Paul up so badly. Drove him to attempt suicide. It's like I'm finally getting what he truly suffered, through this self-imposed exile of mine. The only difference is that Paul never got to choose ... all this pain was forced upon him. But me ? I walked into this with my eyes wide open. I knew what it would involve and I still did it. I did it for my imprint. For my fiery, arrogant, stubborn, wilful imprint. I did it, because I felt Paul _was_ worth fighting for. Truly worth fighting for ...

It's taken nearly a month, but fuck ... it's worked. It's actually worked. I'll _never_ doubt Leah's wisdom again. She actually knew what she was doing. That "plan A" would work. That it would get to Paul. And it did. Especially over the last week or so.

At first, he was mildly puzzled by my behaviour. That, in turn led to confusion, followed by a severe case of frustration which quickly turned to anger. Anger became sorrow and regret combined with extreme jealousy, exactly as Leah had predicted.

And now, it's like it's come full circle again. Only this time, Paul's the one who's confused, hurting and regretting his actions.

*******  
**

I dunno what's been going on with Sam this week. For some reason, only known to himself, he insisted on a third meeting. This time on the beach. Why Sam wanted to hold another one, we were all baffled, as it was basically a re-hash of what he'd said in the previous two meets and basically, a waste of everyone's time. In fact, we were all so bored, that both Quil and Embry kept dropping off to sleep at various points ...  
The only thing I was aware of throughout the entire damned meeting, was Paul's constant, silent scrutiny. Of his dark, heated, confused gaze firmly fixed upon me.

Eventually the meeting finally came to an end and we all began to slope off in different directions. Some for home. Others to meet up with friends and imprints.  
Which just left Leah, Seth and me leisurely ambling back towards the Clearwater's house for something to eat. And that's when it happened. When I heard _him_ say the words I'd desperately longed to hear over the past few weeks.

" Uh ... Jake ? Can we, uh, talk ? ... Please ? "

The three of us froze at the sound of his voice and Leah, being typically Leah, gave me a conspiratorial wink before slowly turning around and standing in front of me to glare at Paul. Seth immediately followed suit. I remained perfectly still and tried to compose myself. Desperately trying to damp down the growing anticipation and excitement that was starting to burn within me. And it was tough ... My mind was telling me to play it cool. To be distant. To keep him at arms length. Whilst my heart craved the exact opposite and my treacherous body craved to hold him. To love him.

" Please ... ? I need to speak with you ... _Alone,_ Jake ... "

_Jackpot !_ I thought, _Leah Clearwater, I love you ..._ In all the years I've known him, Paul has _never_ begged for anything. Ever ! And here he is ... proud, arrogant, hot-headed Paul Meraz practically on his knees begging _me_ for a moment of _my_ time ... My wilful, beautiful imprint ...

" _Why,_ Paul ? " I growled softly, deliberately keeping the tone of my voice cold and hostile. I slowly turned and glared at him. Even though he was my imprint and I loved him, he'd hurt me deeply and for the life of me, I was unable to get rid of the need to retaliate and cause him pain. I know, I was being a petty, vindictive bastard, but I just couldn't help myself. Hey ! I may be a wolf but I'm also human. And like most humans I screw up ... " Give me one good reason why the hell should _I _waste _my_ time? What the fuck do _you _have to say that I'd be remotely interested in, huh ? Because right now, for the life of me, I _can't _think of anything ... "

He flinched, as if I'd struck him. What I'd said was harsh ... hurtful. Even cruel. But it was the truth. And he needed to know how I felt. How badly he'd hurt me. I saw him rub his nape in agitation. It was a sure sign that I was frustrating him. That my attitude was seriously pissing him off. Then suddenly, his fragile self-control snapped. He kept clenching and unclenching his fists helplessly, his dark eyes burned with fiery anger and his broad chest rose and fell agitatedly.

" Because _I'm_ sorry ... Ok ? I'm so fucking sorry ... " he yelled. " I _never_ meant anything I said I swear ... On my life, I didn't _mean_ to hurt you. Never meant or wanted to do that. I lied to you. I did what I always do ... I fucked up. Ok ? Seriously fucked up. I _always_ end up screwing things up. Anything good. That's how I am ... What I am ... What I do ... I'm a fucking mess, Jacob ... _Always_ have been. Always _will _be ... " I could hear his voice become hoarse. It faded and the burning rage within it died. Paul paused and continued softly, " I just wanted you to know I'm genuinely sorry. For being such a bastard. That I'm truly sorry for everything I did ... That I regret hurting you more than anything I've ever done. I don't expect you to forgive me. I don't deserve that ... I, uh, I just wanted you to know how I feel, 's all ... "

I saw the light, the passion in his eyes flicker briefly before it waned. Like a candle extinguished by a slight breeze. He looked crushed. Broken. Paul turned abruptly then stumbled, before moving away. His actions lacked his usual grace and power. I felt Seth's hand squeeze my forearm, his gaze full of sympathy and concern. And that's when I knew I had to stop him from leaving. Somehow, I had to make him stay.

" Paul ... _Wait ! _You're right ... This can't go on. We really do _need_ to talk ... "

Paul froze. Instantly. I could see the tension in every fine line and curve of his lithe, beautiful, muscular body, as I spoke quickly with Leah and Seth. After a quick hug from her and a warning to keep her in the loop, she reluctantly followed her brother across the dunes, though not without pausing briefly to say something to Paul. Words which she spoke so softly I was unable to hear, yet could immediately tell that they affected him deeply.

Then, all of a sudden, the pair of them were gone. Leaving me. Unsure. On tenterhooks. And nervous as hell as I realized I had what I wanted within my grasp ... That I was finally alone ... with my imprint. _My_ Paul ...

**  
T. B. C.  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary:** What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer: **All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N:** The Demon Spawn never happened. _EVER !_ I'm in complete denial ... In my crazy AU she simply doesn't exist.

**Warning:** _contains slash and strong language._

**_*********_**

**Broken**

_Paul's pov:_

I dunno what the fuck I'm doing here ...

I mean, I was the one who needed to talk ... who wanted this. Wanted to be close to Jake once more. I was the one who'd insisted on this. Hell ! I actually begged for it. Nearly got down on my fucking knees for it. But now that it's happened and I'm finally with him, alone, like I'd hoped and prayed for, I just want to bolt. And keep on running as fast as I can ... All that confidence I'd had earlier's deserted me. Flown the coop. There's a helluva lot I want to say to him. That I need to say to him ... yet, I can't find the fucking words. The right ones. And that scares me. It scares the fucking hell outta me ...

When he actually said that I was right, that we did need to talk, I honestly thought I'd imagined it. I just froze. Literally. The shock of Jake agreeing with me had me rooted to the spot. I couldn't move if my life depended on it. If a pack of bloodthirsty leeches turned up right now, I'd've been a dead wolf walking ... or, in my case, a proper sitting duck ... Like I said, I was paralyzed from the waist down. All I could do was look at him like a helpless, lovesick puppy with my eyes fixed hungrily upon him.

It's not like me ... being mute, I mean. Being unable to talk. But looking at him as he stood at the water's edge, the sun caressing him with its rays, had me dumbstruck and in awe for once. He looked like a god and his sheer beauty had me speechless. And so help me, I was - am - completely beguiled by him ... He just took my breath away. In fact, I was so caught up, so transfixed watching him that I was startled when he finally said something to me.

" Well, Meraz ... you gonna stand there all day like a freakin' statue, or are you coming ? "  
Jake watched me intently and had a strange, thoughtful look on his handsome face - probably thinking that I was just plain weird and that I'd finally "lost" it. The tone of his voice was quiet. Calm. Something I was far from feeling. Just the feel of his eyes on me had my treacherous body tensing with need and my heartrate accelerating like crazy. Overwhelming desire made me lightheaded and giddy ... So much so, I had problems thinking clearly, never mind being able to breathe, act and talk rationally.

" Uh ... what ? Oh, yeah ... sure ... " I finally rasped, once my mushed up brain was finally able to sort of function. Now, all I had to do is uproot myself from here and follow him. Which was easier said than done, when your legs feel as wobbly as a newborn foal's ... Still, in the end I managed to get my trembling limbs under control and slowly ambled up to him. " So, uh ... where are we going ? "

Jacob slowly shook his head and rolled his eyes. " You'll see ... Follow me ... "

For once, I didn't argue. The desire to be with him far outweighed the need to be stubborn and argumentative. I fell in step with him, my eyes darting every so often just to look at him. Devouring him hungrily. Wanting him more than anything or anyone in my entire life.

We ended up on the bluff, overlooking the ocean.  
It was a place I knew very well. A place I loved. Somewhere I always went when I was stressed and needed to cool off and find peace, or just when I wanted to be alone to think. It was my sanctuary. My refuge ... For some reason the bluff soothed me, helped me regain my inner calm and brought me happiness and solace. Where I could just be myself ... Not the fiery, volatile, aggressive wolf with a bad-ass attitude that preceded him. Just Paul.  
I was more than surprized to find Jake leading me to this place, as I truly believed I was the only person who ever came here. My brow furrowed and all I could do, was stare at him in wide-eyed confusion.

" W-Why here ? " I croaked, nervously rubbing the back of my head, seriously ruffling my dark, cropped hair into messy spikes. Jake merely dropped down to sit at the cliff's edge, his long, muscular legs dangling over the side. He stared straight ahead towards the horizon, his gaze fixed on the descending sun, watching the colours of the sky bleed into varying shades of pinks, lilacs, mauves and purple.

" 'Cos it's _your_ place, isn't it, Paul ? " he said softly.

" How d-did you know that ? "

A faint smile played on his lips and he turned to watch me as I sat beside him. " 'S easy ... It's where you come to brood, think things over or to calm down. Your scent's particularly strong here ... the place reeks of you. Don't blame you though. It's a beautiful spot. Peaceful ... soothing ... "

I nodded and admitted quietly. " Yeah ... it's the one place I can find myself, y'know ? Keeps me grounded. It relaxes me and I always see things clearer when I come here to think ... " I paused, and saw the slight smirk on his face and although I was still feeling a bit sensitive, a bit raw, I managed a half-hearted snark of, " Hey ! Stop grinning ... I _do_ have a brain, for fuck's sake ! I _am_ capable of thinking rationally. _Calmly._ Despite what you guys think ... I try and come here every day, if I can. This is my happy place, I guess ... " I sighed deeply, then unusually, was the first to break eye contact. I did what I usually did when I was on edge, I stared at the ocean and let the sound of the waves and the play of the fading sunlight on the water calm me down.

Suddenly, I felt him gently bump his shoulder into mine. I looked up and saw Jake smile. His eyes were now fixed on my face and were warmer. More intense. And gentle. " Never said you weren't capable of thinking, Meraz. Just teasing, 's all. I _know_ you're smart ... I'd _never_ imprint on someone dumb, y'know ? "

Jake's calm steady scutiny made me unusually self-conscious and I began to blush. Embarrassed, I turned my head away, only to feel Jake's right hand gently tilt my chin back up, forcing me to look at him. My mouth felt dry and I nervously ran the tip of my tongue across my lips.

" Don't ... Please, Paul ... Never feel you have to look away from me. You're my imprint. A part of me. I hate seeing you uncomfortable. Just relax and be yourself. Don't hide the real you. That's what makes _you_ special ... and it's why I, uh ... I lo-like you, man ... "

By now, his hand was gently cupping my left cheek, its palm warm against my skin. It was the first proper physical contact I'd had with Jake in weeks and I'd missed it. Greatly. His touch made my skin tingle with need. And the way those long, calloused fingertips absently caressed my throat sent sparks of intense longing coursing like wildfire through my entire body. God ! I'd missed this. Missed him ... a helluva lot.  
My eyes slowly closed and I unconsciously pressed my cheek against his palm, revelling in the feel of him. Taking pleasure in being near him once again. Loving his touch. Loving him ...

I sighed and admitted huskily, " Guess I fucked up again, huh ? I dunno what the hell's wrong with me ... Whenever something good happens to me, I always screw it up. I can't help it, Jake. It's like I'm compelled to mess things up. To fuck up ... I don't mean to do it. Hell ! I don't wake up every morning and think what the hell can I destroy today ? Who can I upset or hurt next ? I don't ! Honestly ... "

" Paul- "

I took a deep breath and reluctantly pulled away from him. The confused look on his face tore me up inside. But I owed him. I had to tell him why I ended up hurting him and acting like the biggest asshole on the planet. I took a deep breath and decided to bite the bullet.

" I need you to shut up and listen, Jake. Please ? Any interruptions and I'm out of here. I ... I can only do this if you keep quiet, 'cos I'm having a hard enough time finding the words to explain it as it is ... never mind trying to understand what's going on. Ok ? ... I ain't got a clue why I'm such a jerk. Why I act the way I do. All I know is that I'm wired wrong. That there's something seriously wrong with me that makes me behave the way I do. Jeez, my mood swings are proof enough of that ... I'm always going to fuck things up, Jake. Trust me, that's _never_ going to change, no matter how badly I want it to. " Feeling agitated and unsure of myself, I ran an unsteady hand through my hair. " I ... I, uh, shit, Jake, I'm a bastard pure 'n' simple and I don't deserve you. I never have. _Never_ will. But, hand on heart, I can say _I'm_ no good for you. I've hurt you once, and with my lousy fucking track record, I'll wind up doing it again. That's the last thing I want, but it's inevitable. It will happen and I ... I care too much about you to ever let that happen again. I care so fucking much, that the thought of causing you any pain's tearing me apart. I _can't_ do that to you, Jake. I _won't,_ and I'll be damned if I do ... "

My chest rose and fell in agitation and I knew I was getting stressed. Suddenly, I felt his warm palm cover the back of my hand and our fingers interlaced. His touch instantly calmed me and as I relaxed, I absently noted how his russet colouring complimented my golden skin.

" Paul, you're an idiot, " he said quietly as he leant closer to me. " If you think for a moment I'm letting you go, then you're a total moron. A damn fool. But you're _my_ damn fool. There's no way in hell I'm giving you up. You're stuck with me, whether you like it or not. So deal with it, pal ... "

The tone of his voice was warm. Caring. There was a trace of a smile on Jake's lips and a hint of laughter in his voice His dark eyes sparkled with amusement.

Then without warning, his free hand came to rest on the side of my neck, his fingers curled around my nape to draw me closer to him. The sudden movement made me gasp softly and before I could object - not that I was ever likely to - Jake was kissing me. Light and tender at first, until he became aware that I wasn't resisting him and was actually returning his kisses. That I welcomed his advances and had been longing for his touch. Encouraged by my response, the pressure of his lips on mine increased. The kisses intensified. Became heated and full of passion. I whimpered with need. Somehow, I found myself winding my arms around his neck and pressing my body wantonly against his warm, hard, naked torso. Loving the feel of skin against bare skin. His hands roaming freely over my upper body.  
I wasn't sure how it happened, but I ended up on Jake's lap, enjoying the feel of his strong, powerful thighs flexing beneath mine and the sensation of his lips roaming over my jawline and neck, before gently nibbling and sucking my earlobe. I couldn't stop trembling at his touch and my breathing was heavily and ragged. I laid my head upon his smooth, broad shoulder and closed my eyes for a brief moment.

" Jake ... ? "

" Uh-huh ? "

" You're right ... I _am_ an idiot. And you should know that _your_ damn fool's really missed you ... " I felt his lips brush my temple and he laughed softly. Jake wrapped his arms protectively around me and I happily nestled against him, as we both sat quietly to watch the sun set on the horizon.

**T. B. C.  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary:** What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer:** All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N:** The Demon Spawn never happened. _EVER ! _I'm in complete denial ... In my crazy AU she simply doesn't exist.

**Warning:** _contains slash and strong language._

*************

**Broken  
**

_Paul's pov:  
_  
I can't believe it. Jake spent the night. Here. In my house. In my bed. With me ... And I didn't freak out about it. I fucking loved it.

We left the bluff after sunset and ended up at my home. Where we talked as we ate. All the previous tension had gone and the atmosphere between us was friendly. Warm. And light-hearted. Any ill will or uneasiness had long gone. After we'd eaten, we moved to the living room and decided on a horror movie marathon.

We both tore into 'Van Helsing,' for its ropey CGI. 'Dracula' fared better, but only because it turned out that we were both fervent Gary Oldman fans and firmly believed he could do no wrong. Then Jake begged to see 'The Howling.' It was a movie he'd never seen before, and his tall, powerful frame lay stretched across the couch, his head resting on my lap as he watched it in silent fascination as I absently stroked his cropped, jet-black hair. Then somehow, halfway through 'Dog Soldiers,' we ended up making out.  
It was hot, heavy, and passionate and we soon forgot about the movie. All we could think of was the burning need and the intense desire we had for each other. Nothing else mattered. No one else mattered.

*****

So now, here we are ... Our bodies entwined. His partially covering mine protectively. My hand held gently in his, our fingers interlaced. And for the first time in god only knows how long, I'm happy. Genuinely happy. And it's all thanks to to Jake.

Nothing happened between us last night. Sure, we kissed, caressed, licked, nibbled, bitten and groped each other. But, to my great disappointment, that was as far as it went. For some reason known only to himself, Jake refused to take things further. As soon as things got too heated, he suddenly pulled away and rolled onto his back, panting heavily and his broad chest rising and falling erratically. Leaving me hurt, disappointed and extremely frustrated. Not to mention as hard as granite and so painfully aroused that I couldn't even see straight, let alone think.

" Fuck, Jake ! What's gotten into you ? Just do it, for the love of God ! I need you ... Inside me - _NOW !_ " I groaned, immediately straddling his lean hips, my powerful thighs gripping him like a vice, preventing him from doing anything stupid ... like rolling out of bed and walking out on me. I lightly skimmed my fingers across his pecs, idly brushing his sensitive nipples until they hardened into dark peaks before tracing patterns over his trembling, well-defined six-pack. " You can't just quit now, you bastard ... You _can't _do this ... _You_ want me as much as I want _you._ I _know_ you do ... I can feel how badly you want to. _You_ need this. _I_ fucking need this. Want you, Jake. So much that it fucking hurts. I need to feel you. On me. Around me. In me ... "

I gazed down at him, looking for any sign of weakness that I could use to my advantage. His dark eyes were closed and his forearm lay across them. A tint of flushed arousal stained his high cheekbones and his full, sensual lips were set in a thin line. Tension was clear in his lean, handsome face. Desperate for him to give me what I craved, what I hungered for, I decided to play dirty. Slowly, I leant forward, closing the gap between us. I rolled my hips slightly and felt him stiffen beneath me. I grinned, then rolled my hips once more and felt his impressive, thick length slide against my equally hard, arousal and I quickly noted with gleeful satisfaction, that it was already beginning to leak.  
He gave a low, husky moan of need.

" Please, Jake ... Why torture us both like this, huh ? " I took hold of his earlobe with my teeth and gently tugged it a few times. He gave a hiss and his hips jerked upwards, brushing mine. Jake's right hand moved to clamp down on my left hip, holding me firmly in place and his left fist tightly grasped the bedsheet. " Why are you denying yourself what you want ... ? Why are you denying me ? "

" God ! Paul ... what you do to me ... You're driving me insane. We can't do this. Not ye- "

" Why the hell not, hmmm ? " I whispered huskily, tracing the tip of my tongue around the delicate shell of his ear. He trembled at my touch and gasped softly when he felt my hand slip furtively between our bodies and my fingers curl gently and possessively around the silken, heated length of his dick. " What's to stop us ? "

" Aah, P-Paul ... you're gonna wind up fucking killing me, man ... " Jake groaned, reaching out a hand to gently caress my face with its knuckles. Cat-like, I rubbed my cheek against the back of his fingers and leant into his touch, loving the simple contact with him. " I mean it, Paul ... we can't. I ... I, uh ... I wanna take things slowly this time. Don't wanna rush things. Ok, h-hon ? " Jake's breath suddenly hitched and I glanced at him briefly. His chocolate-hued eyes were glazed and so dark with lust, that I could barely make out his pupils.

" What if I said it _wasn't _ok, Jake ? What if I _didn't _want to wait or take things slowly ? " I asked him quietly, my lips nuzzling and gently biting his neck. " That you're all I can think of. That I burn for you. That you make me ache for you ... " I slowly, yet teasingly, began to caress his cock, making him hiss sharply with every idle pass my thumb made over its weeping slit. I absently brushed over the pre-cum, then leisurely brought my hand up to my mouth and licked the glistening fluid clean off my thumb, savouring its salty-honeyed tang. Fascinated, Jake could only watch me in rapt silence, his eyes dilated and missing nothing. He moaned huskily.

" I ... I just don't want to mess things up like last time, 's all ... " he admitted weakly, his hands slowly travelling down my back and coming to rest on my ass. " Don't want to give you another excuse to bolt. To run out on me. It'd kill me if you did that again, Meraz. Don't think I'd be able to take it ... That's why I want to take things slowly. Step by step. Day by day. I want you to be sure about this. About me. About us ... That you don't end up regretting it ... "

I closed my eyes for a moment, then sighed before gazing down at him. I could see wanton desire and need warring against and losing to determination and self-control, on his handsome face.

" Jacob Black ... you're a fucking cock-tease, " I growled softly, realizing this time that he had me whipped. " You have me simmering and coming to the boil nicely and now you leave me high 'n' dry. Evil bastard ... " He gave a soft chuckle as I grumbled in sheer disappointment.

" Quit being a wuss, Meraz ... It won't kill you, " Jake smirked, his large body shifting beneath mine causing his hard erection to brush against mine. I hissed sharply. Jake's eyes twinkled impishly and the smirk turned into a wicked grin. Despite being just as aroused and needy as I was, Jake had me over a barrell and he damn well knew it. And he could be a stubborn bastard. Once he makes a decision, he rarely changes his mind, unless he has a damn good reason to do so. And now it was up to me to provide that reason. Fast. Before I died of acute frustration and longing.

" Yeah ... right ... " I muttered gruffly, trying to ignore his light, teasing caresses on my ass' sensitive skin. " Who are you trying to kid ? Don't think I'm gonna forget this any time soon, Jake ... This _ain't_ over. No way. I'll play it your way for now. I ain't giving up though, before long _you'll_ be begging for it ... " That thought cheered me up instantly and my eyes gleamed deviously. " Just remember, babe, your ass is mine ... "

And with that remark, I Iowered my head and kissed him. Hard. Passionately. Hungrily. Until he was in no doubt about how I felt about him. Then without warning, I rolled away from him, a faint smile playing on my lips and walked into the bathroom for a much needed, ice-cold shower. Leaving Jake lying on my bed, groaning in protest and feeling equally frustrated.

**  
T. B. C.  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary: **What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer:** All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N 1: **The Demon Spawn never happened. _EVER !_ I'm in complete denial ... In my crazy AU she simply doesn't exist.  
**A/N 2: **"Bring Me To Life" belongs to Evanescence's talented singer/songwriter, Amy Lee.

**Warning: **_contains slash and strong language._

**_*********  
_**

**Broken**

**  
**_Paul's pov:_

Jeez ! This is so much tougher than I thought it would be. I mean, I figured I'd humour Jake for a couple of days. Play along with his idea of not rushing things. Just go with the flow. Fuck ! I never imagined how hard it would be to keep my hands off him. Not being able to do more than kiss him is fucking killing me ... And God ! Do I want to do more than kiss him right now.  
I want to rip off his clothes and just get up close and very personal with my very gorgeous, sexy, gentle wolf.

I want to feel Jake next to me, on me, around me, against me ... Fuck ! In me ... To be surrounded by his power and his vitality. To be enveloped in his warmth. Feel smooth, heated skin on skin. The hard planes of his body wrapped around mine and the pleasure I find in his touch and the feel of every sleek line and sinewed curve of his lithe, perfect form. I honestly can't help it, but I yearn for Jake and crave him. Desperately.  
Trouble is, I've made this stupid vow. Promised myself that I'd behave. Be a good mutt and do as he wants, When all I _really_ want is to have my wicked way with him. Or for him to corrupt me. Either way, I don't particularly care, so long as I end up where I want to be. In Jake's arms. Loved. Sated. And happy ...

Being good, toeing the line's slowly tearing me apart and this longing I have, the constant, ravenous hunger I feel for him doesn't make things any easier. It's driving me crazy. Shit ! I've held out for a week ... a goddamn week, for mercy's sake ! If I have to go without him for much longer, I'm going to end up with the worst case of blue balls ever known to man !  
Ach ... To hell with it ! I'm done being good. It's about time my beautiful imprinter learns to start begging ... Pretty damn quick !

_*****  
_

Seven days I've struggled to keep Jake at arms length and the sheer lack of physical contact with him is frustrating the hell out of me. My body aches constantly for his touch. For something more intimate than a good-natured punch to the arm, or the weight of his arm casually resting across my shoulders. Or his sweet, addictive kisses. They aren't enough anymore. I need ... I crave something far deeper ... more meaningful than those simple, innocent touches. And I'm today gonna make damn sure I get it ... and Jake's gonna wind up giving it to me.

In the end, I turned to our she-wolf for advice. Way I figured it, anyone with such a massive experience of heartache and angst, had to know what she was talking about. Jake's "taking things slowly" rule had been a great source of amusement to her and once she'd finally managed to stop giggling about the acute frustration I was feeling, Leah, surprizingly, relented and agreed to give me the benefit of her wisdom.

" You realize I'm only helping you pair of morons, 'cos I don't want to suffer 3-D, high definition, in stereo surround sound visions of what the pair of you get up to in my head when we all phase. Then again ... " Leah smirked meaningfully, " that _might_ not be a bad thing to witness. Pretty hot when I really think about it ... and I'm sure Ros wouldn't mind if I shared that little gem with her either ... "

I felt myself flush. Not with anger, but from shyness. Much as I adored Jake and loved being intimate with him, what we got up to wasn't meant for public viewing - although, there were times when we both had the odd slip up when we phased, much to our embarrassment and the Pack's glee - it was private. Special. Something that, deep down, I wanted kept strictly between Jake and me ...

" Leah ... " I whined softly in protest. " Quit teasing, woman. How the hell do I get Jake to quit this 'stalling' business ? I'm desperate here ... If I don't get any action or a proper seeing to anytime soon, my right hand's gonna be worn down to a bony stump ! Please, I _need_ your help ..."

Leah tossed her glossy, raven mane across a smooth, golden shoulder and struggled to keep a straight face. " Oh, man ... you've sure got it bad, Paulie, if you're begging me for help. Not sure what's worse, the pair of you loved up, or you with a permanent hard on 'cos Jakey gone all girlie about "dipping his wick" and rushing into things ... Ok, listen up, I'm gonna give you a crash course in "How to seduce your Wolfboy and make him crazy with lust." The full one-oh-one. So, pay attention, 'cos this is a one time deal and I won't be repeating it ... " She then settled down on my couch, made herself comfortable and began to reveal the "Gospel according to Leah Clearwater."

*****

Leah's advice basically, was _show your boy what the hell he's missing and make him work for it._

Because she was such a good listener, I ended up spilling my guts. I even confessed to her something so private that I hadn't shared with anyone else. That I loved Jake. Intensely. But like Jake, I couldn't help trusting Leah and I sensed that she wouldn't break my confidence.

So, I took advantage of the fact that Jake was on patrol with Embry and Quil and began to follow her advice. Ever since we'd made up, Jake had taken to sneaking out of his house after dark, to share my bed. Unfortunately, that's all he would do. We'd share tender kisses and caress each other, but anything further would have him backing off and instantly rolling on his back, before pulling me into his embrace and falling asleep. He'd always make sure he was back home by six the following morning, just in time to wake his old man and help him get set for the day.

Somehow, Leah had managed to find out that Billy was stopping over at Charlie Swan's over the weekend. Something about a fishing trip the pair of them had lined up. One look at her lovely face told me she knew that Jake would not be spending much time over at the Black's residence whilst his dad was away. He was hoping, or rather planning, to stay at mine and our Wolfgirl actually came out and said it would be " a great chance for you to bring Jake around to your way of thinking. To see things from your point of view, Paul. All I ask is that you _don't_ fuck it up ... "

"Fucking it up," as Leah so quaintly called it, was the last thing I planned on doing. There was no way in hell I was going to screw this up. Not if I wanted what my heart and body desired above all else. Jake. Back where he belonged. In my arms. And more importantly, in my bed - permanently ...

My body trembled with anticipation. To say, I was on edge was putting it mildly. I'd never seduced someone I loved before. I _never_ had to. Then again, I'd never been _in_ love. Until now ...  
Thanks to Jake, I now knew what being in love meant and felt like. What I'd felt towards his sister came nowhere close to what I felt for him. That had been infatuation, influenced by the imprint. Nothing more. Nothing less. But this ? This was real. It _felt_ real to me. It was genuine. And intense. It didn't feel forced or fake. I loved Jake. Warts 'n' all ...

Knowing full well that Jake would eventually turn up, I took a quick shower. I'd got into the habit of listening to music whenever I showered or bathed. It helped me unwind - even if the rest of the Pack found my taste in music far from relaxing.  
I quickly rinsed off and turned off the hot water before stepping out of the shower. Grabbing a clean, fluffy towel from the radiator, I briskly dried myself, then slung it around my waist as I headed back to my bedroom and cranked up the volume on the stereo. It was currently playing a compilation cd of my favourite songs and because I was alone, I began to hum Staind's "Right Here" as I pottered around, trying to kill time. Time which seemed to be dragging interminably as I waited for my wolf to show up.

Sighing heavily, I sauntered back to the bathroom for a smaller towel, then sat on the bed and began to briskly dry my short hair. I'd never been a patient person and waiting for Jake to make an appearance was driving me crazy, especially since I hadn't seen him since quarter to six this morning and it was now almost ten at night. I _wanted_ to see him. To hear him. Feel him. If I'm being honest, I needed _him._ Desperately. And I was stunned by how drastically my feelings had changed for him over the past few months. How there'd once been a time when I loathed Jake more than anything and now, I was literally dying to see him. Couldn't bear to be apart from him ...

I impatiently tossed the small towel into a bin in the far corner of my room, before lying back on top of the bedcovers and slowly closing my eyes. The song had now changed and I immediately relaxed and smiled as I heard Evanescence's Amy Lee begin to sing:

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors  
leading you down into my core  
where I've become so numb ?  
Without a soul, my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold  
until you find it there and lead it back home._

I'd always loved the band, but this song was special. It meant something to me. Something private which I could relate to. It made me think of Jake. Of how he'd brought me out of the darkness I'd become trapped within. Jake was my sun and he'd become the light of my life.

_( Wake me up )  
Wake me up inside  
( I can't wake up )  
Wake me up inside  
( Save me )  
call my name and save me from the dark  
( Wake me up )  
bid my blood to run  
( I can't wake up )  
before I come undone  
( Save me )  
save me from the nothing I've become_

And that's what Jake had done. When he'd unwittingly imprinted on me. He _had_ saved me. He'd brought me back to life and gave me a reason to live once more. And more importantly, he'd shown me what love was and how to love.  
The funny thing is I know he genuinely loves me. And it's nothing like the feelings evoked by an imprint. Hell ! I should know what I'm talking about here. After all, I'd been through the process myself and knew how it felt. But I know how Jake feels about me. I can see his emotions shining clearly in his beautiful, chocolate eyes. He truly loves me. Deeply. Warmly. Intensely. Passionately. And heaven help me, I do return his love. Willingly. Gladly. Wholeheartedly. And without reservation.

Suddenly, I caught myself singing the song aloud - something I never did when others were around. I've always loved music and used to like singing because for some reason it calmed me.

" Wow ! Never knew my sexy imprint could sing. You're good ... "

Startled, my eyes flew open at the sound of Jake's soft-spoken voice. Clad in just black sweat pants, he leant against the doorframe, his gaze fixed intently upon my white towel-clad body.

" There's a lot of things folk around here don't know about me, " I replied huskily as I propped myself up on my elbows to study him. I stretched my lean, sinewy frame leisurely, my actions deliberately teasing him. Jake slowly licked his full lower lip, then trapped it with his perfect, white, even teeth and to my satisfaction, his high cheekbones were slightly flushed and his eyes dilated with intense hunger and need. " 'S not as if I go about the place broadcasting what I do ... "

Jake lazily unfurled his tall, muscular body from the doorway and began to slowly approach the bed. His eyes didn't leave my face for an instant. There was an expression of deep yearning on his handsome face which he didn't bother to hide. It literally took my breath away and I felt my stumoch clench.

_Frozen inside without your touch, without your love darling,  
Only you are the life among the dead._

_All this time I can't believe I couldn't see.  
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me.  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems,  
got to open my eyes to everything.  
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul,  
don't let me die here.  
There must be something more.  
Bring me to life._

The mattress suddenly dipped, and Jake lay next to me, on his side, propping his head up with his left hand. A slight smile played on his lips.

" So ... Evanescence, huh ? You cheating on me with Amy Lee, Meraz ? " His large, russet hand came to rest on my six-pack, just above the white towel slung low across my hips. He began to idly caress my skin, his touch making me tingle and my breath hitched. Jake smirked.

"Why ? You have a problem with that, Black ? " I countered shakily, his touch shooting what little concentration I had left to pieces. " She's one fine looking woma- "

Jake's hand trailed lightly down the front of the towel, its long fingers curling possessively around my hard, aching shaft. I gasped softly and my hips rose involuntarily, craving friction with his hand.

" Why would I have a problem, Paul ? Huh ? I mean, _I'm_ the one here with you. Laying on your bed. Touching you. Caressing you. Kissing you ... " His dark head lowered to close the gap between us. And the next thing I felt ? Jake's full, sensual lips covering mine. His kisses began lightly. Playfully. Each and every gentle and tender pass of his lips upon mine gradually became deeper, increasing in pressure. They intensified as the passion rapidly escalated between us. All too soon I felt the need for air and parted my lips. It didn't take long for Jake to take advantage of the situation. His tongue slipped into my mouth and began to duel with mine. Vying for dominance. Tangling sinuously with and massaging each other. I began to moan and whimper softly with need and felt Jake's lips curve into a wicked smile against mine.  
Before I knew it, his hand slid beneath the towel. The cloth suddenly parted, giving him better access to my throbbing arousal. He grasped it firmly, stroking it with a gentle, feather-light touch, smearing the glistening pearls of pre-cum which was already leaking from it and I couldn't help thrusting into his hand.  
Jake reluctantly broke off the kiss, only for his lips to travel across my jawline, until he was nuzzling my throat. I found myself closing the gap between us, pulling his strong, lean body down to cover mine, wrapping my right leg around his and caressing his calf with my foot. My hands slowly descended from his smooth, broad shoulder down his back which tapered to a narrow waist, that led to slim hips. When I reached the waistband of his sweats, I slid my hands beneath it and began to caress the firm globes of his taut buttocks. Then, it was my turn to grin when he gave a lustful moan as I impatiently began to push the sweats down his hips and past his perfectly shaped rear.

" Ok ... ok ... " Jake panted and reluctantly raised his head from my throat, impaling me with his heated, passionate gaze. " You win, Paul, I get it. _You_ win. I give up. I was a goddamn fucking fool to try and resist you for so long ... I see it now ... I, I want you too much to fight against it anymore ... Love you too much, hon and ... and I need you so bad ... "

Grinning happily, I kept a firm grip on his ass, pressing him down firmly against my lower body. I revelled in the feel of his shaft digging proudly against mine. Long. Thick. And extremely hard.

" I hate to say I told you so, Jake, but ... I told you so ... " I smirked, running my hands possessively over his heated skin. " Said I wasn't going to give up ... That _you'd_ end up wanting me ... That your ass _is_ mine. Seems like I was right after all ... "

" Sure ... sure ... Now quit gloating, you smug bastard, " he growled impatiently, " 'n' c'mere and kiss me- "

I grinned once more and slowly pulled his head down towards mine. I could afford to graciously comply with his wishes. After all my beautiful, stubborn Quileute wolf had _finally_ seen sense and given in. And besides, we had a week's worth of catching up to do. Jake owed me and I intended to make sure that he paid up in full. _And_ with interest ...

**T. B. C.  
**


	15. Chapter 15

__

**Summary: **What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer:** All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N:** The Demon Spawn never happened. _EVER ! _I'm in complete denial ... In my crazy AU she simply doesn't exist.

**Warning:** _contains slash and strong language._

***********  
**

**Broken**

_Jake's pov:_

I held out for as long as I could, but in the end I gave in to him. Well, who in their right mind wouldn't ? After all, my imprint ... _my_ Paul, is so fucking gorgeous that he takes my breath away. I can't help finding him irresistible. He just makes me feel ...  
Hell ! I don't know how to begin to explain how exactly he makes me feel, all I do know is that I love him with all of my heart. All of my being. And I think he feels the same about me. Oh, he's not said it in so many words, but I know deep down that he does ... I can tell just by the way that he looks at me. By the heat, the desire and the affection in his dark, sultry eyes and the way that he acts or by his touch. But he's claimed, pretty often surprizingly, that I've reformed the Pack's resident troublemaker. That I'm the only one who's able to calm him when he's at his most volatile. That _I'm_ the best thing that's ever happened to him and that he's extremely lucky and grateful to have me in his life. But that's typical of my big, bad wolf ... He can be so irritating and obnoxious about trivial things, yet when it comes to talking about us, his feelings, he becomes ... well, I don't think reticent is quite the right word for it ... painfully shy. Almost tongue-tied. And I find that truly adorable.

It's funny how life can throw a mean curveball at you. I mean, I'd always hated the thought of imprinting and dreaded it ever happening to me. Being tied down to someone for the rest of my natural life, with absolutely no choice in the matter. Having no say at all about who my inner wolf would choose as its soulmate. So, when it finally happened to me, finding out that my wolf had thought our Pack's hot-head was worthy of being my imprint, came as a helluva shock. In such a short space of time, the biggest pain in my ass ... the one person I loathed with a passion, suddenly became the most important person in my life. Paul became and is my life. And I adore him.

Oh, he's changed a bit. For the better, in some ways. He's calmed down a lot and has far better control over his infamous temper since the imprint, but basically, deep down, he's _still_ Paul. He continues to possess that fiery, spirited temperament and a quick, sarcastic, biting sense of humour that the others are so wary of, but with me he's so different. He's passionate, funny, gentle, tender and so loving. And so very taken - by me ...  
Then again, Paul's equally possessive of me too. He won't tolerate anyone being over-familiar with me. In fact the only people he'll allow to be tactile with me are Billy, Leah and Seth. And unusually, Rosalie, someone he'd once considered his natural enemy. Whether it was both Dr Cullen's & her hard fought attempts to save him after he'd tried to kill himself, the aftermath of the imprint or simply my friendship with Ros that mellowed his attitude towards her, I'm not sure. But somehow or other, he and Blondie gradually became friends much to the pair's astonishment. His attitude towards the rest of the Cullen's, however, remained hostile and lacking in trust. Especially where Edward and Bella were concerned. And his reasoning for his hatred towards them ? The way she used and abused my friendship and love and the fact that _she_ threw me over for _him._ The leech ...

Going back to the 'possessive' thing, basically, what I'm trying to say is that I am his, as he is mine. We belong together. And neither of us will tolerate anyone trying to come between us.

*********

We'd both gone to the cliff with the Clearwaters. Seth had been on at us for ages that we hadn't been cliff-diving and just to humour him - or rather as Leah put it bluntly, "to have a quiet life" - Paul, Leah and I went with him. Naturally, Seth had been itching to hit the water and had thrown himself off the cliff before anyone else had a chance to do so. His impetuousness almost resulted in his sister having a coronary.

Leah sprinted to the edge and looked down into the water. Her tall, athletic frame was clad in the skimpiest of bikinis, making the most of her slender curves. Long, glossy, raven tresses whipped around her lovely face, as she anxiously gazed into the dark depths below. Then she saw her brother surface, a huge grin of delight gracing his profile.

" Seth Clearwater ! You're a fucking moron ! " she yelled furiously. " You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack, jumping off the edge without looking where the rocks were first. What if something happened to you, huh ? Mom would kill us ... Thought I'd taught you better than that. Goddamn idiot ! "

Paul caught my gaze, slowly shook his head in silent amusement and smirked at Leah's outburst. I grinned at him. He returned it with an equally warm smile, then stripped off his wifebeater before approaching the cliff's edge. He looked down once, then calmly did a perfect swan dive, plunging cleanly into the water.  
For an instant, my heart was in my mouth as I waited for him to appear. Leah stood beside me and took my hand in hers, our fingers entwining as we saw him suddenly break the surface. I immediately relaxed and let go of my breath which I'd been holding. We heard Paul give a howl of delight and saw him strongly cut across the water and head for the shore to where Seth was already waiting for him.

" Don't think I've ever seen you this happy, Jakey, " Leah mumured softly. " It suits you. You 'n' the Big Bad Wolf are good for each other. Real good. It's great seeing Paul so relaxed 'n' happy too. "

I reached across to hug her, gently drawing her slender frame into my arms and holding her tight. " You're right, Lee, I've never been so happy and it's all down to Paul. Hell ! Who'd have guessed six months ago that I'd ever say that ? That Paul would be the one responsible for my happiness. But he is. And I love him so much. I'd do anything for him, Leah. Anything ... I just wish ... I, uh ... "

" Yeah, Jake ? Go on ... "

I sighed and looked at her fondly. A stray lock of hair fell across her face and I reached across to gently tuck it behind her ear. " Just wish you found someone too, Lee. I really want that for you, y'know ? Out of us all, if anyone deserves to be happy - to be loved - it's you. I really hope you find that person soon ... "

" Trust me, Jake, any chance of that happening's long gone, " she replied huskily, her voice tinged with sadness. " Besides, who in their right mind would want such an embittered, foul-tempered, sarcastic bitch ? Nah ... On second thoughts, _don't_ answer that. Now, c'mon before we start getting maudlin ... Are we diving, or what ? "

And before I realized what had happened, Leah smirked, then stepped off the cliff, dragging me by the wrist after her. Moments later we found ourselves treading water, feeling exhilarated. I glared at her, stunned that she's actually got me involved in something so reckless. So liberating. So exciting ... 

" What the fuck- ? Leah ? And you call Seth a moron ? _Both_ of you are fucking insane. Crazy ... " I shook my head slowly in disbelief. Her dairk eyes sparkled with glee and she grinned with genuine amusement. Her smile was so infectuous that I found myself returning it. It was so good to see her laugh and mess around once more - even though she scared the crap out of me in the process.

" Quit being a wuss, Jakey. Still alive, aren't you ? Besides, thought you were a man now ... that you could handle a simple joint dive like that. Didn't expect you to go all whiny 'n' Bella-ish over it ... " she teased gently as we both waded back to the shore.

Paul and Seth stood at the water's edge grinning. My imprint immediately high-fived our fiesty she-wolf and they both exchanged smug grins.

" Great dive, Leah ... " he stated calmly, his dark eyes raking my wet body with a possessive hunger that immediately sent a sharp, ache of need directly to my loins. I flushed, knowing he could read me like a book. And sure enough, as soon as I met his steady gaze, there was a knowing smirk on his lean, handsome face. I couldn't take my eyes off Paul. With his dark hair slicked back, shining like a sealion's pelt, trails of water trickling down his ripped, golden body and a genuine smile of pleasure on his face he'd never looked so beautiful to me. Nor as sexy. Wet was such a good look on him.  
Deciding I needed to be close to him, I leisurely sauntered over to stand behind him and wrapped my arms around his narrow waist, pulling him to rest against me, his smooth back lying flush against my bare torso. He pressed back into me and his breath softly hitched when he felt my arousal brush against his wet denim-clad ass. I smirked as his dilated, needy eyes met mine.

We only managed a dozen dives apiece, before the craving for food threatened to overcome us. In the end, after some debate, we decided to head back to Paul's for something to eat, knowing full well that his home was the closest to where we were and, out of the four of us, he was the most likely to have any food stashed away. Much as I adore him, I'm not completely blind to my imprint's faults and aside from his fiery temper, his other weakness is food. He has a very healthy appetite - and I don't just mean for sex - and simply loves to eat. What baffles me, is where the hell he seems to put it all ... Paul's like a goddamn bottomless pit and he has the fastest, toughest metabolism of all the Pack.

" Look, guys, I, uh, dunno what exactly I've got in. It'll be pot luck. Ok ? Or we could get some pizzas in ? " he said softly, as we all headed up the path that led up to his house.

" Whatever you have will be fine, P., " Leah reassured him. " Between the four of us, I'm guessing we'll come up with something pretty good. "

" I just hope it'll be edible- " Seth muttered, " Ouch ! " He turned to glare sharply at his sister, who'd just hit him upside the head. Leah stood with her hands on her hips, head tilted to one side and managed to glower at him whilst quirking an eyebrow.

" Any digs about my cooking, Seth Clearwater, and you go without, " she snarled softly. " Y'hear ? " The bickering between the siblings continued until we reached the front door of the house. It was persistent yet good-natured, sprinkled with humour and I could see Paul's broad shoulders shake with silent laughter as he listened to them.

" Well, here we are guys, home sweet home, " he announced as he unlocked and opened the door, before stepping aside. " Go right in ... "

Seth and Leah slipped past him and I was about to follow them. Paul smiled warmly at me, then inexplicably, he froze before slowly turning around to look down the path. I immediately followed his gaze.

" Hello, Paul ... "

**T. B. C.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary:** What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or will he find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer:** All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N1: **The Demon Spawn never happened. _EVER ! _I'm in complete denial ... In my crazy AU she simply doesn't exist.

**A/N2: **_"Without You" _belongs to one of my favourite bands, Three Days Grace.

**Warning:** _contains slash and strong language.  
_

*************

**Broken  
**

_Jake's pov:  
_  
Paul was frozen. Literally rooted to the spot with shock. For an instant, his toned, athletic body became rigid with acute tension and any colour he'd possessed swiftly drained away, making him appear positively vampire-like. Suddenly, he began to tremble as the familiar voice he'd adored, spoke softly to him.

" Hello, Paul ... "

Tensing, I growled softly and immediately moved closer to my imprint. He looked horribly vulnerable and ill at ease. The need to defend and protect him was overwhelming and I was damned if he was going to be hurt again. I never wanted to see Paul suffer as he had six months ago. To be in so much anguish. So much pain.

" What the fuck are _you_ doing here ? " I snarled viciously, stepping in front of Paul. Shielding him.  
From the corner of my eye, I could see Leah move to Paul's side, intent on protecting him. She slipped her arm around his waist, in a show of definite support, her hostile and unforgiving glare fixed intently upon the newcomer. Even Seth, the most placid, happy-go-lucky and friendly member of the Pack was distant, his normally warm, amber eyes glacial and full of intense dislike.

" Not that it's any of _your _business, little brother, " my sister coolly replied as she moved closer towards us, " but I've come to see Paul ... _My_ boyfriend ... I've come back to be with him. "

I could feel my hackles instantly rise and my powerful, six foot eight frame began to tremble with the intense need to phase. Then I felt Seth's calming presence at my side, his hand resting soothingly on my shoulder and I saw him give an imperceptible shake of his head, silently warning me not to do anything reckless or stupid. I took a few deep and calming breaths and gradually won back some self-control over my inner wolf, much to Seth's relief.

Rachel leisurely sashayed her way towards Paul, who was unusually silent and passive. He took whatever comfort and reassurance Leah willingly gave him quietly, his eyes averted from us all and fixed upon his bare feet. Leah continued to caress his back, making circular patterns that seemed to soothe him. Her protective nature was at its full strength and she didn't bother to conceal the contemptuous look on her strikingly beautiful face. If anything, our she-wolf looked as if she'd like nothing more than to rip off my sister's head and drop-kick it out of the res. before setting her body alight. And the way I felt right now ? I'd be perfectly happy to let her.

" D'ya mind, Lee-Lee ? " Rachel purred sweetly as she stood in front of the elder Clearwater. " I'd be grateful if you'd take your, uh, paw-hands off my man ... I need to talk to him ... "

I could tell Lee wasn't buying Rachel's sweet 'n' innocent act for an instant. After all, they'd grown up together and Leah knew how much of a selfish bitch my sister could really be. Leah immediately narrowed her eyes calculatingly, and remained where she was and it was obvious that she'd resolved not to abandon Paul. That this time she'd be there for him and _would_ watch his back.

" You've a helluva nerve showing your face here again, " Leah spat, " especially after what _you_ did. D'ya honestly believe you can just waltz back into our lives - into _Paul's_ life - after all this time ? That we'd _all _welcome you back with open arms ? Pretend nothing happened ? That everything's all good between us ? Well ... did you ? Because let me tell you now ... things are _never _going to be ok between us. Things have changed. We've changed. We've fucking had to. We're not the same naive hicks anymore. We _aren't_ friends ... I don't want to be your frien- "

Rachel clearly wasn't taking Leah seriously. Something the Pack knew was a fatal mistake. " But _I'm_ back now ... I need you, Lee-L- "

" And my name's Leah, you stupid fucking bitch, _not _'Lee-Lee' ... L.E.A.H. ... _LEAH !_ You say you need me. Need me as a friend ... Well, I've news for you, _I _don't need you. With friends like you, who'd need fucking enemies ? All I need from you is to pack your fucking bags and take your skanky, selfish ass as far away from us and La Push as possible ... " Leah was beyond furious and looked as if she had a great deal more that she wanted to get off her chest. Thankfully, Seth decided it was time to intervene ... before his sister got really tempted to spill blood.

" Lee, please, don't ... Now's not the time. You need to keep a cool head. Stay calm. Yeah ? " he pleaded softly. " For me ? For ... ? " Seth didn't mention any further names. He didn't have to. I knew he was referring to me and Paul.

Leah gave a single, slight tilt of her head in acknowledgement of his request and backed down. But just because she reluctantly gave in, it didn't mean I was going to. If anything, I was going to give Rachel hell ... If she thought she could swan back here and steal the man I love from me, well, she was soon going to find how fiercely a wolf protects its mate ... its imprint. I wasn't going to give Paul up without a fight. And if I had to fight dirty to keep him from her, I would. He's mine. Not hers ... _MINE ! _If it means losing the rest of my family, my blood kin, so fucking what ? I don't fucking care. All I care about is my hot-headed, passionate wolf. Paul's the one who's important. The one who matters the most. _He's_ everything to me. My world. My future. My life. And my love ...

I can't lose him. Not to _her._ Fuck ! I will _not_ lose him. It'd kill me if I did. My life would be shit without Paul. Totally fucked up. Meaningless ... Empty ...

I decided offense would be the best line of defence when it came to safeguarding my interests. So radiating hostility, I got in Rachel's face, purely to intimidate and unnerve her. It was something I'd never done before and I hated myself for it. But when I saw the predatory way in which she looked at Paul, I swiftly quashed any guilt or self-loathing I felt.

" Yeah ... Leah's right. You shouldn't have come back. _You_ don't belong here. We don't need or want you around, Rachel. All you care about is yourself. What you want. You don't give a fuck about anyone else. You just hurt the people who care about you. It's always been about you. What makes you happy. So long as you're ok, it's screw the rest of us ... D'ya even care about what happened after you left ? What you did to Paul ? You fucked off and left him in pieces. _Fucking pieces, Rachel !_ He was a goddamn mess, because of you, you heartless bitch ... _You !_ " I took a deep breath, but before I could go on I felt Paul's hand on my forearm, stopping me.

_What if I walked without you ?  
What if I ran without you ?  
What if I stand without you ?  
I could not go on ...  
_  
I turned to look at him and to my dismay, found his beautiful, dark eyes firmly fixed on my sister. Not where it should be. On me. He appeared captivated by her beauty. Beguiled. And I felt the first crack appear on my heart.

" Please, Jacob ... Stop. " Paul pleaded huskily as he moved away from Leah. " Go inside with the others. Fix yourself something to eat. I need to speak with Rachel. Alone ... I want to, bro ... "

" Pau- "

He continued to refuse to meet my gaze and that's when I realized he was falling under the spell of his imprint once again. That he was unable to resist its lure and that it was dragging him under as swiftly and as powerfully as a tidal wave.

_What if I lived without you ?  
What if I loved without you ?  
What if I died without you ?  
I could not go on ...  
_  
" Please, Jacob, just go and leave me alone ... " he sounded weary, yet was determined to put some distance between us. And I hated it. It fucking hurt. Rachel hadn't even done anything and already I was losing my gorgeous imprint, my beloved wolf to her. And that's when the crack in my heart grew deeper. I couldn't move. My limbs felt heavy and lethargic and I began to feel a dull ache in my chest.

" Just get the fuck inside, Jacob "

I stared at Paul in disbelief. There was no warmth, no heat in his eyes and his voice was so cold. So distant and angry. And it was killing me slowly. Rachel smirked and immediately slipped her arm through his, openly gloating at how easy she'd got Paul to come around to her way of thinking. And the pain I felt as I watched, was like a knife being struck in my gut and given an added twist for good measure.  
Paul ignored me and led her into the living room, leaving the door wide open.

_You left my side tonight  
And I, I just don't feel right.  
But I can't let you out of sight.  
Without you I'm no one, I'm nothing at all ...  
_  
Snorting with disgust, Leah muttered, " If I thought I hated the leech-lover and wanted to hurt her, then I just want to eviscerate and tear that skank of a sister of yours apart, Jakey ... C'mere, hon ... " She immediately wrapped her arms around me and just held me close.

Seth sighed heavily, then announced out of the blue, " Would it be really wrong of me if I _accidentally_ let slip that she's back to Sam ? Or even Rosalie ? After all, Sam did say if she ever came back on Quileute land again after what she did to Paul, he'd break her neck ... and I'd hate to think what Ros would do to her for hurting you, Jake ... "

Past caring and hurting so badly, I just shrugged my shoulders then reluctantly, disentangled myself from the comfort and sanctuary of Leah's arms. She watched me intently, her gaze full of love, compassion and deep concern.

" I'm sorry, guys, but I can't do this. I _can't _stay here. This is killing me. I know you mean well, but I need to think ... and I want to be alone, y'know ? " And before either of them could stop me, I phased and ran off deep into the woods.

_What if I lie without you ?  
What if I rise without you ?  
And what if I dreamed without you ?  
I could not go on ...  
_  
And once I reached my special place, my den, I gave a long, mournful howl before curling into a russet-hued furball of misery and pain. I closed my eyes and desperately tried to forget the one who meant everything to me. The one I'd come to love more than life itself ...

**T. B. C.  
**


	17. Chapter 17

****

**Summary: **What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer: **All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N 1: **The Demon Spawn never happened. _EVER !_ I'm in complete denial ... In my crazy AU she simply doesn't exist.  
**A/N 2: **Just a quick line to say thanks to all you guys who left such great reviews for the previous 2 chapters of "Broken." RL's been pretty hectic lately and I've been persistently savaged/mauled by plot bunnies, so I've been unable to thank you individually for your reviews like I usually do.

So, deep breath ... in no particular order, thanks again to:

_**Allstarzs, anime and werewolf luvr, bloOd StaiNed Rose, clairdeluneisgreat, If-I-Were-A-Wolf, kat3495, lacrymosa-91, Leiann, LoveIsEverythingg, mauralee88, Musabi, RainGoddess2040, Snowluvr410, StoicCrying, StoryTagger, twimama77 **_and_** wunderkind14.**_

PHEW ! I hope I've got you all ... If I've missed anyone, I'm really sorry. You guys have been truly awesome.

**Warning: **_contains slash and strong language._

*************

**Broken**

_**Paul's pov:**_

Once I'd got over the initial shock, disbelief and anger set in.

At first, I couldn't believe my eyes and honest to God, I genuinely thought I was hallucinating when I first heard her voice. But when I finally turned around and saw her standing there, just a couple of feet away from me, large as life, I knew I wasn't deceived. _She_ was back.

Beautiful, arrogant, selfish, thoughtless Rachel Black.  
The one person who'd caused me so much grief and pain. The woman whose self-centred actions had driven me to such depths of despair that I'd begun to believe I _was_ worthless. That _I _was unworthy of love. The woman who'd finally broken my spirit and convinced me that there was nothing left for me except to take my own life. The woman I believed I loved, but now realized I'd only been infatuated with. One whom I was bound to, through no fault or choice of my own. My imprint ...

And here she was standing before me, watching me expectantly. Proud, wilful and without a care in the world. Not only that, her behaviour was that of a person who believed they'd done nothing wrong. That they hadn't caused any harm or suffering. And that made me mad. Genuinely furious. That she could act so innocent after what she'd put me through.

What really pissed me off was that she was reponsible for the sheer devastation on my Jacob's face. How those gorgeous, soft, dark chocolate eyes turned cloudy with pain when he saw his sister turn up, like the proverbial bad penny, on my doorstep. I could tell by just one look what was going through his handsome head. He was terrified that he was going to lose me. That I'd reject him in favour of my own imprint. And if I'm honest, I shared the same fear. I didn't want to lose Jake either and I certainly didn't want to give him up. And if I had to ? It definitely wouldn't be of my own free will ...

In the end, it was our fiesty she-wolf's actions which finally helped me decide what to do about Rachel and Jake.

In the past, I'd always thought Leah Clearwater to be a cold, heartless, sarcastic and vindictive bitch, but over the last six months she'd proven me wrong. I came to realize that the role of the hard-faced bitch which she so skilfully played, was merely a defence mechanism. Something she instinctively relied upon to protect herself from being hurt. And to be fair, Leah's life hasn't been a bed of roses. Ever since she lost Sam to her cousin, she has been continually shafted and has suffered so much anguish and pain. More than a single person should have to endure. Life has been cruelly unfair to her and a weaker person would have long since given up the ghost. But our Leah's tough and strong-willed and refuses to be beaten or cowed by whatever life deigns to throw at her.  
Like I said, I no longer think of her as a bitch. Despite all she's been through, her capacity to care for and to love others is limitless. And she truly does care. Deeply and passionately. And she is - inspite of her bad-ass attitude and volatile temper - intensely loyal to those she loves. Ever since Jake imprinted on me, Leah has - even though we had a tempestuous relationship in the past - welcomed me into the fold and has been a good friend. And for that alone, I have come to love her as a sister.

So, when I felt Leah's presence by my side, steadfast, loyal and loving, supporting and defending me with a passion, with a fire in her belly and then looked at my imprint, I knew which one was the true bitch ... And surprizingly, it wasn't the girl with the reputation for being one.

It angered me that Rachel thought she could just swan back into my life, turn everything upside down and expect me to welcome her back with open arms. I hated her for what she done to me. What I'd been reduced to. That she'd made me feel so emasculated. And I resented her for coming back. For the distress she was causing Jake and for the pull of the imprint I still felt. A tug which was thankfully weak, yet still able niggle me.  
But the attraction, the need I felt for her brother, _hadn't_ diminished in strength. If anything its potency had increased and that alone gave me hope ... It encouraged me to fight the imprint and to fight for the one I truly loved.

But in order to do that, I knew what I'd have to do would hurt Jake deeply. That I would have to lie and push him away, in order to deceive his sister. To con her into thinking I was willing to talk to her, to take her back when in reality, I was actually plotting payback for her rejection.  
So, that's how I found myself lying through my teeth to my wolf. Telling him I needed to speak with his sister. That I wanted to be alone with her, when all I really, truly and desperately wanted was to be with him. And when my coldness and indifference made the light of hope die in his eyes and be replaced with defeat, I hated myself. I prayed that Jake would realize what I was up to and would be able to forgive me ...

*****

Ignoring the others, I led Rachel into the living room and deliberately left the door wide open. As soon as we were alone, I shrugged her arm off mine and made sure there was plenty of distance between us.

I stood in front of the fireplace, with my arms crossed in front of my chest. My attitude cold and distant. At first, she seemed amused, but after a while she was genuinely puzzled and closed the gap between us. She reached out a hand to caress my cheek and I immediately recoiled before she had a chance to come into contact with my skin.  
It was kinda funny how once I'd have done anything to feel her hands on my body, but now all I felt was revulsion. And now that I was in love with her brother, _his_ was the only touch I craved. The only one I wanted to be with. The one I desired.

" Paul, what's wrong with _you_ ? Aren't you happy to see me- ? "

" Look, Rachel, what the fuck are _you_ doing here ? " I asked coldly, not caring if she found my attitude rude.

" I told you, I came back to be with you ... I made a mistake, Paul. I should never have left yo- "

" Damn straight. You got that fucking right, " I snarled and glared at her angrily. " And I'm supposed to be grateful, huh ? That you came back ? For _me ?_ Yeah ... right ... Tell that to someone who cares ... Someone who actually gives a fuck. 'Cos I don't- "

" But, Paul- "

" Don't 'but , Paul- ' me. You fucking left me without a backward glance. You didn't bother to return my calls. Nothing ! And now, 'cos you've made a goddamn mistake, I'm supposed to roll over like a good little mutt and take you back ? So not happening, sweetheart ... Who did you screw over in New York that you ended up coming back here ? What happened, did you fuck things up over there then decide, 'oh, I know, I'll go back to La Push and screw Paul up some more' ? "

I saw her eyes begin to well up with crocodile tears, " I never meant to do that ... "

" Oh, I bet you didn't. "

She reached out once more in an attempt to touch me and I stepped out of her reach.

" I want you to take me back, Paul. You _have_ to. I'm your imprint, " Rachel said tearfully. " You owe me that at least- "

I lost it and moved into her personal space, towering over her. " _I owe you ?_ Unbe-fucking-lievable ... You're unbelievable, Rachel. D'ya know that ? You fucked off. Left me. You damn near broke me. And now you expect me to take you back after all the crap you put me through ? I owe you shit ... D'ya know what your problem is ? I didn't want to believe it at first, but Jake was right when he said you were a selfish little bitch. You only care about yourself. You don't give a crap about anyone else. "

" That's not true ! "

I raised a sceptical eyebrow at her weak denial. " Who are you trying to kid ? Course it's true. You always have been self-centred and always will be. _You'll _never change ... It's always been about what you want and screw the rest of us. Well, I'm sorry, but you'll just have to find some other fuckwit, 'cos I _ain't_ taking you back. I've moved on ... " I felt the thin link which connected me to her finally sever and there was a sudden sense of relief. Of lightness.

" You _can't_ do this to me, Paul. "

" Too bad ... I just have, sweetheart. Deal with it. When you left me, rejected me, it freed me. I don't have to take you back. Like I said, I've moved on. I'm in a good place. I have someone in my life now- "

" So you're fucking cheating on me ? You can't cheat on your imprint, Paul. No way ! I'm back now. For good. You'll just have to break it off with h- "

" Are you deaf or just plain dumb, Rachel ? I _don't _want you ! Get it into that fucking thick skull of yours, I don't want to be with you. I've _no_ intention of breaking up with someone that I deeply love ... that I'm _in_ love with, for you. I'm happy for the first time in years. Really happy and I'm not about to screw up something so great, just 'cos you decide on a whim that you want me back ... Screw you, Rachel Black ! I'm happy. I'm in love and I'm loved by someone who believes in me and who thinks I _am_ worthy of being loved. So, no, I'm not going to risk losing my lover for someone as fickle and as selfish as you. "

" Paul- "

I ran my hand over my short, spiky hair in frustration. She was really doing my head in and by now, all I could think of was Jake and how desperately I wanted to be with him. " No more, I've had enough. This conversation's over. You've said what you came to say. I listened. End of. So, if you don't mind, take your skanky ass out of my home and fuck off back to where you came from ... I don't want to see you again. I don't want you in my life ... "

She looked positively furious. I'd once thought she was pretty, but the anger on her face killed any beauty she had. " Bastard ! " she spat, " you're a fucking bastard, Meraz. And you're right, you were _never_ good enough for me. Dunno why I bothered feeling sorry for you- " She stormed out without a backward glance, tears of rage and frustration falling down her face.

" Sorry ? Don't make me laugh. You ain't got a fucking clue what that means, " I yelled after her. " You wouldn't know 'sorry' if it came along and bit you on that fat ass of yours ... " I sank weakly onto the couch. Then it suddenly struck me. I was finally free of her. I'd fought against the imprint and beaten it, something I'd never dared hope I'd be able to do. And the feeling of freedom, of liberty tasted great. I grinned, then leapt up from the couch and walked out of the house to the garden to join the others.

" Guess you told her, bro, " Seth gave a slight smirk. " Never seen that bitch move so fast. Must've given her a helluva flea in her ear. "

" She had it coming ... I broke the fucking imprint. I fought it ... for Jake " I murmured, then noticed Jake wasn't with them. " Uh, where's Jake ? "

Leah pushed herself off the wall she was leaning against, her face grave and her eyes filled with sorrow. " I don't know, Paul ... I'm sorry, but he must've thought you were getting back with her. He just took off ... we couldn't stop him ... "

********

**T. B. C. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary:** What happens when the Pack's resident hot-head and troublemaker is rejected by his imprint ? Will he succumb to grief or find solace in the arms of another ?  
**Disclaimer:** All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer ( including these two fiesty, gorgeous wolves - unfortunately ! ). The rest ? To my warped, hyperactive imagination ...  
**A/N1: **The Demon Spawn never happened. _EVER !_ I'm in complete denial ... In my crazy AU she simply doesn't exist.  
**A/N2:** Would like to thank everyone who stuck with 'Broken' and leaving such great reviews for it. You guys know who you are - _really_ appreciate it. You've been awesome.

**Warning: **_contains slash and strong language._

*************

**Broken**

_Paul's pov:  
_  
" G-Gone ? " My face fell. The giddy euphoria I'd felt when I realized I'd broken the imprint suddenly deserted me and I began to panic. " What the hell d'ya mean "gone" ? "

" Exactly what I said, moron. Jake's A.W.O.L. He's m.i.a. Flown the coop ... Fucked off ... Bolted ... " Leah replied in equal frustration, dark eyes cloudy with worry and her smooth brow furrowed in anxiety. " What the fuck did you think I meant ? ... Honestly ! "

" Fuck ... Fuck ... Fuck ... FUCK ! " I ran a trembling hand through my cropped, spiky, dark hair. " Why the fuck did he bolt ? I was always gonna come back to him. I'd _never_ reject him. I've no intention of ditching Jake for Rachel. For anyone, Leah. Not after what she did. Jake's everything to me. He completes me and I can't function without him. It's like I, I ... I need him like the air I breathe, y'know ? I _can't _live without him. Shit ! I wouldn't want to ... Jake's my sun. The one who brought me out of the dark. Gave me hope. Showed me what it means to be loved. He makes me feel. Makes me a better person. I want to be a better person - for him. I love him, Lee and I want him back. I need him ... "

Leah sighed softly and rested her right hand lightly on my forearm. " Then why the hell are you still moping around here like a lovestruck girl ? Jake's the one that needs to hear what you've just said. Hell ! I believe you, Paulie, " Leah smiled sadly, " I know you're being straight. That you're not lying. But in the end, Jake's the one you gotta convince. Not me. So, get the fuck outta here and go win him back ... "

Seth approached us and draped an arm across his sister's slender shoulders. " Yeah, you both need each other. You belong together, bro. Fight for him. Don't let him give up on you. On what you've got. You've been through too much together to lose each other. Just don't take any shit from him and don't let him push you away. He loves you as much as you think the world of him. So hang on in there. Be persistant. Don't leave him or let him walk away from you. Jake can be a stubborn ass when he wants to be, but if anyone can wear him down and get through to him, man, it's you ... It'll be ok. It'll come good in the end and work out the way you want it to. Good luck ! " He gave me an encouraging grin. " Now fuck off, Meraz. Find your wolf and claim him ... "

I grinned in return, then decided the quickest and best way to find my missing mate would be to phase. I began to sprint towards the edge of the forest and suddenly transformed into my lycan form, shredding my clothing in the process, replacing my nineteen year old, six foot three, golden-skinned, athletic Quileute frame, with an enormous, powerful wolf with a sleek dark silver pelt. I paused at the treeline to look back at the Clearwater siblings before loping steadily into the densely covered forest.

*********

It took a while, but in the end I succeeded in hunting Jake down. Many would've given up the search, yet I persevered. I couldn't. Wouldn't. My heart wouldn't let me. I ached for him. Yearned for my mate. Wanted and needed him so desperately, that nothing - no one - else mattered ... All I could think of was Jake.

He was holed up within the base of a large hollow tree. Still in wolf-form, he'd curled up into a huge, russet furball. The misery, sorrow and agonizing pain which radiated from him was palpable. The air was charged with his emotions ... and it tore at my heart. Me. Paul Meraz. Pack hard-ass extraordinaire. The one who always hid what he felt and was deemed to be a cold, ruthless, vindictive bastard. A true son of a bitch ... The guy who'd tease, taunt and torment others just for kicks. Like Leah would often - and rightly say - purely for shits and giggles.  
But I've changed since the imprint. For the better, I hope. And it's all down to Jacob Black. He's the one responsible for the change in my behaviour. My attitude. And if I'm honest ? The change has grown on me. Now, I can say hand on heart, when I look in the mirror I actually like the person that's reflected back at me. I prefer the new me ... and all this is thanks to one person. The wolf, the man, that I adore with all of my heart ... Jacob.

And I do love him. More than life itself. Whether that's a wise thing, I don't know ... Honestly ? I don't fucking care whether it's smart or not. All I care about and for, is the sweet, gentle, kind, foolhardy, young wolf that haplessly imprinted on me. And all I want is the chance to love him as he deserves to be loved. To show it and to prove to him that we _are_ worthy of each other. I just hope that I haven't fucked up so badly and that he's smart enough and can find it in his heart to forgive the damn fool that he's had the misfortune to imprint on, for being so stupid.

I approached him cautiously. I hadn't a goddamn clue what kind of reception I'd get from Jake and that made me uneasy and full of trepidation. But it wasn't enough to keep me away from him. Nothing could do that. Except death ...  
Jake suddenly tensed, the sleek, reddish fur on his hackles became raised and although he didn't lift his head from the ground, he growled softly in warning. That's when I knew he'd sensed my presence. And his response was far from encouraging. The odds of winning him back clearly weren't in my favour and to do so - to prove that I was in love with him - I'd have to try a different angle. One I'd never done. A method which scared the shit out of me, but it was the only way I could see that'd give me any hope or chance of winning Jake back. And he was the only person I was willing to attempt it for. Submission ...

I began to inch forward, crawling warily towards him, deliberately keeping the front part of my body low to the ground. To show that I came in peace. That I clearly wanted to make amends. When he didn't react aggressively, my tail began to wag slightly in hope. I closed the gap between us and gently rubbed my nose against his snout in greeting. To my astonishment, even though he was still tense, he didn't pull away. It encouraged me to lick his muzzle affectionately and I heard him sigh softly.

" _Why _are you here, Paul ? Why aren't you with _her ?_ Your girlfriend ? Your imprint ... " I heard his pain inflected voice clearly in my head. Jake met and held my gaze steadily, his beautiful chocolate eyes filled with sorrow and anguish. With torment.

Truly hating myself for what I'd done to him, I transformed back into my human form, uncaring that I was as naked and vulnerable as the day I was born. I owed it to Jake. To come clean to him. To confess I'd deliberately been a fucking ass in order to break the imprint. So that I could be with him. Only him ...  
I sat back on my heels and ran a weary hand through my cropped hair before dropping it to rest on his hackles. I began to stroke his thick, sleek pelt and found the action soothing. As I did so, I could feel the tension begin to ebb away from his powerful body and Jake slowly began to relax.

" Why the hell would I _want_ to do that, huh ? Why would I want to be with _her_ after all she's put us through ? It's _you_ I want. You I want to be with. For good, _if _you'll have me ? " I added tentatively, willing him to change back so that I could embrace him. " It's _you_ I love, you idiot. With all my heart, body and soul. I'm yours, Jake. Yours alone. No one else's ... Yours. "

I'm not sure what exactly I'd said that made him react, but Jake suddenly lifted his head and watched me warily. There was a glimmer of light in the rich darkness of his eyes. A tiny flicker of hope. Yet he still continued to hold back, as if he dared not believe what he'd just heard. Even though it was something we _both _desperately hoped for and wanted.

" I, I finally did it, y'know ? " I continued hesitantly, thinking here goes nothing. " Broke the imprint ... Fucking shattered it and told your sister where to get off. That I'd moved on. That I have someone special in my life. Someone who's everything to me. Someone who I lo- ... Hell ! Scratch that ... Someone I'm in fucking love with and can't live without. Someone that's always on my mind 24/7 and who, " my voice lowered and became husky with need, " has me walking around with a permanent hard-on ... " I could feel the yearning hunger for Jake rising within me and averting my gaze briefly, I shifted to make myself more comfortable.

" Y-You b-broke it ? " Jake asked softly. I looked up and saw that he'd shifted, an incredulous look on his stunned, gorgeous face. " You _actually_ broke it ? "

I nodded. " Uh-huh ... Did it for you, babe ... All for you. Fought and fucking shattered it. And it feels great. I'm free. Finally ! Told her I didn't want her. Didn't love her and wanted her out of my fucking life for good. That I'm finally, truly happy and that I'm with someone who - I still hope - loves me and thinks I'm worth fighting for. I am, _aren't_ I ... ? Worth fighting for, I mean ... I know I screwed up. Fucked things up big time. But I'll make it up to you, I swear ... if you _still _want me ... ? "

Jake laid his right hand on my bare thigh. The contact was totally unexpected and I welcomed it. It was more than I dared hoped for or deserved. His thumb absently traced circles on my inner thigh and the pressure of his palm against my heated flesh made my muscles tremble.

" Now who's being the idiot ? " Jake murmured as he leisurely leant forward and closed the gap between us. " Course I still want you. I'll _always_ want you, Meraz. Don't think I'll ever stop. "

" Then why did you run, Jake ? Tell me ... " I begged softly, my right hand unconsciously gravitating to his neck, drawing him closer so that I was able to rest my forehead against his. " Please, Jake, I need to know ... "

He sighed. " I, uh ... I thought I was losing, no, that I'd lost you, Paul. That the pull of the imprint was stronger than what we had. I couldn't handle it. That's why I bolted. Couldn't face seeing her stealing what's mine. The thought of her with you was killing me. Tearing me apart. I didn't want to be in the same position as Leah ... Forced to see the one I want, the one I love, every single fucking day with someone else. I couldn't do that. I'm not like Leah. I'm not that fucking strong ... "

" Bullshit, Jake ! You're one of the strongest people I know. Your strength's one of the most attractive things about you. It's as sexy as hell ... Really turns me on ... " I slowly carded my fingers through the thick, raven hair at his nape. " You haven't lost me. You'll never lose me, unless you get tired of me and tell me to fuck off ... "

" Guess I won't be doing that in a hurry, " Jake muttered sheepishly.

" I'm kinda counting on it ... " I admitted huskily, a faint smile played on my lips as I watched him nervously run his tongue over his lower lip.

" Huh ! Why the hell doesn't that surprize me ? "

I shrugged before replying, " I'm not giving up or losing the best thing that ever happened to me without some kind of fight. And you're worth fighting for, Jake. More than you'll ever know- "

" Paul ... "

" Uh, what ? "

" Just shut up 'n' kiss me, 'kay ? "

" Pushy cub, " I replied with a faint smirk, before gently cradling his face in both hands and lightly, brushing his lips with mine.

" Quit teasing, Meraz, I meant properly ... " he growled in frustration as he tried to deepen the playful kisses.

" Definitely pushy ... " I began to kiss him once more, this time increasing the pressure of my lips on his, making him growl softly. He reciprocated with an enthusiasm which I found endearing. Truly mesmerizing. His hunger also mirrored mine perfectly. We became lost in the kiss ... and each other. I was dimly aware of him pulling me onto his lap, his hands roaming and caressing my body possessively. Gently. His skilful touch had me writhing wantonly in his arms. Craving more. Much more.  
In the end, it was the need for air that tore us apart. We reluctantly broke the kiss. Both of us were panting hard, our chests rising and falling erratically. Not once did we break eye contact with each other. I reached out my hand and gently caressed his left cheek. Jake immediately leant into my touch and smiled at me. It was a shy, sweet smile that illuminated his handsome face. A smile full of trust and love.

" Move in with me, Jake ... " I said before I could stop myself.

" Uh ... What ? "

" You heard. Move in with me ... Say yes, " I pleaded with him, watching him hopefully, noting the stunned expression on his face turn into one of delight as he finally realized that I wasn't playing with him. That my offer was genuine. " I want to be with you. Want us to be together. Now your sister's back, there's nothing to stop us ... unless you don't want to ... I mean, let her look after your old man, you've done more than your share. You deserve a break. Please, Jake, say yes. We could be happy together, I know we could ... We're good together. All I know is that I'm fucking miserable when we're apart and I love being with you ... "

He continued to stare at me. All wide-eyed innocence and trust shining in his dark eyes. He glowed with happiness.

" Well ... say something. Put me out of my fucking misery one way or another ... " I said nervously, wanting desperately yet dreading to hear his answer.

" Are you sure about this, Paul ? Really sure ? This isn't some knee-jerk reaction to Rachel being back here, is it ? "

" Course I'm fucking sure. Wouldn't have asked you if I wasn't. Rachel being here's got nothing to do with it, except made me realize how much I want this. Want to be with you. _Only_ you ... "

Jacob grinned, " Ok ... "

" Huh ? " I looked at him blankly.

" My answer, moron. Yeah, I'll move in with you. I want us to be together too ... More than anything. For some crazy, warped reason, I love you, jerk ... " Jake replied softly.

I couldn't stop grinning and immediately leapt to my feet. Then impatiently dragged Jake onto his before wrapping myself around him. Holding him tight. Never wanting to let him go.

" What the f- ? " Jake began to softly laugh. " Meraz, you idiot ... "

I sighed then tugged him outside the den. " Come on, hon. Quit screwing around. We can't stay here forever. I'm taking you back home. _Our_ home ... "

He smiled radiantly and laced my fingers with his, " Sure ... sure. Whatever you say, darlin'. Take me home ... "

**  
Finis  
**


End file.
